Heart Stuff

  • Heart Stuff, Knowing God

    God’s Faithfulness in the Unexpected

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    “Okay Lord.”

    As life has taken its twists and turns over the years, this phrase has woven its way into my everyday conversation with God, with a wide variety of intonation depending on the situation. Sometimes I’ll proclaim the words confidently in full agreement with where He is leading me next. “Okay Lord!!!”

    Other times there’s a hesitation in my voice, as I strain to see what lies ahead, cautiously inching one toe forward into the unknown. “Okaaay…Lord.”

    Still other times I’m downright bewildered as I am blindsided by an unexpected situation. In the unexpected, it can feel impossible to guess how God is working. While I trust God, my voice still forms the phrase into a question wondering what He is up to. “Okay. {Big sigh} But…Lord?”

    Regardless of the scenario before me, there is one common thing that enables me to say “okay” to my Heavenly Father: His unwavering faithfulness.

    In Scripture and in my own life, I see evidence of His faithfulness everywhere. When I look back over seasons of uncertainty or difficulty or unexpected transition, I can see His fingerprints in every detail, carefully and lovingly guiding me through. It is God’s faithfulness in the past that anchors my faith in the present, and gives me hope for the future.

    This past year, my husband and I found ourselves in the middle of the unexpected. We discovered that we would be adding a third baby to our family, eleven years after our last kiddo had been born!

    I can still remember staring at those two pink lines in total bewilderment. A rush of emotions flooded in. I felt shocked, happy, scared, excited and anxious all at once. Having another baby wasn’t on my radar at all! Our older boys were 11 and 15 and we were loving this stage of life with older kids. This was going to be a huge adjustment!

    My brain went into overdrive grasping for any shred of a plan. We had just bought a bigger house, so we had the room for another baby. My husband had a great teaching job that he loved. Plus, I love being a mama and we always dreamed of three kids, it just had never happened. I felt slightly reassured and so I nervously said, “Okay Lord”.

    With all my emotions still swirling around in my brain, I walked downstairs to tell my husband the news. As soon as I saw him, I knew something was wrong. His shoulders shrugged forward and his head was down and I could see a crease of worry and stress across his forehead. Before I could share my big news, he told me he had just found out he had been laid off from his teaching position because of COVID cutbacks. The great job and a way to pay for our big new house was gone in a flash. My nervous “okay Lord” turned into a stunned silence. This was definitely not our plan.

    I told my husband about our upcoming new addition and we sat together quietly wondering what God might be up to, wishing we could get a sneak peek at how this was all supposed to work out. After what felt like forever sitting there in shock, we started praying about what our new life might look like moving forward, trusting that God indeed had a plan. So, we said, “Okay Lord”.

    I began to do the math on when our bonus baby would arrive. I discovered that my C-section would be scheduled for the same weekend as the Revive! Conference. Revive Ministries is an extension of my own heart and our annual conference was a decades-long dream come to life. Not only was I one of the keynote speakers, but I needed to be there to help as the co-founder of the ministry and co-planner of the event! I had been pouring my heart into my talk for months, excited about the message I felt God had given me to share with the ladies who would attend.

    While I was absolutely thrilled about the baby, I was also heartbroken that I may not get to speak or even be at the conference at all. I desperately tried to make sense of the timing and as the conference got closer, I decided to record my sessions ahead of time, so that I could still speak even if I couldn’t be there in person. I thought I had figured out a way to have my cake and eat it too. After all, God had called me to speak, why wouldn’t He allow me to do this good thing for Him?

    The night before I was scheduled to record my keynote message, I started having contractions. I had been having false contractions for a while, so I didn’t think much of it since we were still a couple weeks out. As we headed to the hospital for a checkup, I told our oldest son that we’d probably be home in an hour. While my husband drove, I was busy mentally rearranging my schedule in case I was going to be late to record later that day. I was not prepared for the nurse to tell me that my water had broken and we were having a baby…like, right now! “Uh, okaaay, Lord?!”

    I couldn’t wait to meet my baby boy, but I also needed those last two weeks! I was still tying up loose ends at work getting ready for maternity leave. I began to realize that I definitely wouldn’t be able to do the conference now, even with all my careful planning. Then, I remembered that the older kids didn’t have anyone coming to stay with them for another 2 weeks! My mind was frantic as I struggled to hold on to the control I foolishly thought I had.

    Usually I pride myself on being able to roll with the punches, but this final huge change of plan left me feeling like I was stuck on a roller coaster, slowly click-clacking up a big hill, just before careening down the other side. It felt scary and precarious, until I remembered the Lord.

    Psalm 145:13-17 says, “The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does. The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does.”

    As I turned my eyes to the Lord, He helped me to stop striving to control my plans, and helped me submit instead to His. My husband and I prayed and the pieces started to fall into place, because even though we hadn’t planned ahead for an early delivery, the Lord did. The thing I worried about the most was that my doctor wouldn’t be available since we weren’t scheduled to have a baby that day. We had barely said “amen” and the nurse announced that my doctor would be here shortly and just happened to be on shift today. Praise God! My parents went to stay with the kids until another family member could arrive. The delivery went smoothly and a half hour later I was holding our little miracle in my arms.

    When the conference came, I watched it online from home, with my precious baby boy sleeping peacefully by my side. I let the tears fall as I prayed for everyone there, and again surrendered my will to God’s with a quiet whisper, “okay Lord.” I still couldn’t understand why the timing had worked out the way it did and why I didn’t get to be a part of the conference, but I believed that God’s faithfulness was sure, and that I could trust Him.

    My best friend and ministry co-founder, Melissa, spoke in my place at the conference, and within a day, emails started to come in from women who had been impacted by her message. They needed to hear exactly what God had put on her heart to say, in the way that only she could say it. In God’s faithfulness, He had spoken to the hearts of His beloved daughters so they could experience His love and grow in their faith.

    Not only did God provide spiritually, he provided for our physical needs as well. My husband received a call a couple days after we got home from the hospital offering him a long-term sub job that would last the rest of the school year. The job would start a couple of weeks later, just long enough for him to be home with me while I recovered. As amazing as that was, God gave me even more reason to marvel at His goodness.

    At a postpartum appointment with my doctor, I found out that if I had carried the baby until my due date, or even stayed home from the hospital and continued to labor, I would’ve been at risk for some very serious, potentially life-threatening complications that none of us could have known about. But God knew. In His faithfulness, He allowed me to miss the conference, so that I could deliver my baby boy safely and without complication. His total faithfulness in every possible area both humbled me and bolstered my own faith.

    Now when I look at my little one, I can’t imagine life without him. Our family has been blessed beyond what I ever could have dreamed with the addition of Daniel Jacob. In his short two months with us, he has brought more joy and laughter (and maybe a little less sleep 😉) to our lives. The Lord continues to strengthen our relationships with one another as we navigate life together as a family of five. God’s faithfulness transformed our nervous “okay” to a joyful one.

    The only reason I could keep saying “okay Lord” time and time again throughout this whole journey was because I knew without a doubt that God could be trusted to know what lay ahead and believed that He had me firmly in His grasp. I could trust where He was leading, knowing that His faithfulness in the past would see me through anything I might be facing now.

    God is not just faithful in the huge, life-changing details. He is faithful a thousand times a day with the little things too. We can’t always see it in the moment, but God is there. He is working on our behalf, because He loves us so very much. When we hurt, He is faithful to comfort us. When we are discouraged, He is faithful to cheer us. When we pray, He is faithful to listen and meet us in our need. He does what He says He will do. He can’t help it. His goodness and faithfulness are part of His character. You can trust and rely on Him in every way.

    As you finish out your week, look around for ways that He has been faithful, big and small. You might be surprised to see His loving touch in the details of your life too.

    One of my favorite songs, “Great Is Thy Faithfulness”, has been an anthem of praise when I clearly see God’s faithfulness displayed in my life, as well as a prayer of remembrance & trust when I can’t see Him clearly in my circumstances. These lyrics echo my hearts cry:

    Great is Thy faithfulness!
    Great is Thy faithfulness!
    Morning by morning,
    New mercies I see.
    All I have needed,
    Thy hand has provided.
    Great is Thy faithfulness,
    Lord unto me.

    Wherever you find yourself today, whether singing God’s praise, or praying for Him to reveal His faithfulness to you, I pray that God will meet you right where you are and fill you with a sense of His loving and faithful presence, so you can joyfully say, “Okay Lord!”

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  • Heart Stuff

    When It All Comes Crashing Down

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    ***Our friend Amy shares a part of her story in this devotional that includes pregnancy loss. If pregnancy loss is a tender topic for you, please feel free to circle back to today’s devotional in your own time, if you wish.***

    When we experience a crisis (I’m looking at you 2020 👀) it drives people two ways: towards faith or away from it. It often becomes easier to question our faith and allow panic to creep in than to replace that chaos with the peace that Jesus offers us. While it can be difficult to see how God is at work in our circumstances, we have a choice whether we will look for His faithfulness and anchor our hope in Him.

    I remember Aug 12, 2009 like it was yesterday. Nothing could have prepared me for the loss I was about to experience. I was alone in a sonogram room hearing my OB tell me that the 16 week baby I was growing in my belly, no longer had a heart beat. I was devastated. I couldn’t think or understand words–everything just stopped. I left her office in tears, and quickly called my husband from our car. I said “Babe, you need to come home. The baby has no heartbeat.” He was silent and then whispered “Not even a little one?” Next, we had to call our parents and tell our friends. Sitting with our then 4 year old son and telling him that the baby was in heaven now was an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I was experiencing feelings I didn’t know I could even feel.

    I woke up one day, a week or so later, and knew I was at a crossroads. I knew I could either choose to cling to Jesus and trust His path for me (even when I didn’t like it) or I could choose to walk away from my faith and believe that a good God wouldn’t take my baby from me. I chose to cling to my faith, because I knew that this God I loved, this God I had had my faith in since I was a child, was a God who could work all things together for my good. Even this unbearable loss. I wasn’t sure how He would do it, but I knew in my heart that He would.

    In the early days after our loss I would wake up with worship songs in my mind, most often it was The Old Rugged Cross, “I will cling to the old rugged cross, And exchange it someday for a crown.” God was reminding me through this song that hurt is temporary. Loss hurts and that is ok, we have to feel the pain of these situations, but through Jesus’ death on a cross, the loss is not permanent. God gives us hope when we are able to cling to the cross. In His faithfulness, He shows us that we can look beyond what we experience in this world. He will comfort us in our unimaginable pain. Choosing to believe that God is good even when our hearts are shattered into a million pieces, allows space for God to nestle deeper in our hearts and sooth our pain so that we can bring Him glory.

    When we face personal crisis, global pandemics, senseless violence, divorce, a child who walks away from the faith, financial insecurity, addiction, disappointment in your spouse or whatever else your “crisis” is, it is easy to doubt God and His faithfulness and try to get through it on our own. We have the choice to cling to our Creator or to look to the world for comfort. The world doesn’t offer true, lasting comfort–only God can do that.

    God’s word reminds us that God is ever present and always faithful. There are so many verses that show us God’s faithfulness, but one I love dearly is 2 Thessalonians 2:16:

    Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say.”

    2 Thessalonians 2:16

    We know this world will hurt us, but ultimately those painful experiences can drive us into the loving arms of Jesus, allowing us to feel the comfort only He can give. Our experiences give us the opportunity to point others to that same loving kindness & heavenly faithfulness. Our initial response in the wake of hurt or uncertainty may be to run from the pain, or try to drown it out. But because of God’s faithfulness, we can bring our hurts to Him, experience the hope that we can have in Him, and draw others to His peace through the comfort He gives us.
    .
    We do NOT have to live like those who have no hope. As Jesus followers, we have the assurance that Christ died for us. We have seen His hand and His faithfulness in our lives day in and day out (especially when we experience crisis). So when disaster strikes we are not broken because we know that we will never be abandoned by our God.

    God never promised us this life would be easy, but He does promise this: He is bigger than any storm we face in this world. And He’s always working for our good, even in the places where we can’t see, even in the circumstances that we don’t fully understand.

    One of my favorite verses that I run to when my heart hurts, or my brain is panicking is John 16:33 which says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

    Did you catch where our peace comes from? Jesus! Jesus is the only place where we can find a peace that doesn’t change regardless of what problems we face. That is faithfulness at its finest. Nothing we do can change God’s love for us. And because of what Jesus has done for us, we can be encouraged because we know how the story ends.

    One day, God will make all wrongs right.

    I am so excited to be a part of Revive Ministries and have this opportunity to share what God has put on my heart. My prayer as I begin this journey with you is that today you would know hope & peace in a way that can only come from Jesus Christ. I want you to know that when your world looks shaky, that in Christ, we have an unshakable hope that doesn’t change based on your current circumstances. Please don’t live without hope. Please don’t live in fear of this world. Please know that there is a God who loves you, even when you don’t know Him. He offers the gift of peace and it is a gift you’ll never regret accepting.

    “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” ~ Romans 5:13

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  • Heart Stuff, Knowing God

    Learning to Receive God’s Love

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    A few years back I was sitting in a coffee shop with a friend (oh how I long for the days of sitting in a coffee shop with friends) and we were talking about our ability to receive love. I confessed to her that for many years it was hard for me to receive love from others and especially from God. I mean how could God love me when I kept making mistakes or breaking my promises to really change for the better this time?

    But that’s the great thing, God’s love is not conditional, rather it’s unconditional. It’s not based on our successes or our failures or if I have earned it, rather His love is always there for us, we just have to receive it. Do you ever find it hard to let God love you?

    As we sat in that coffee shop that day, I was reminded of John 13 where Jesus was bending down to begin to wash the feet of his disciples. If you are familiar with the story, you may recall that when Jesus gets to Peter, Peter refuses to let Jesus wash his feet. Peter is rejecting Jesus’ act of love. How many times have you rejected receiving Jesus’ love because like Peter you feel it would be selfish, or that you were not worthy to receive such a lavish gesture?

    If you look at verse 8, though, Jesus responds by telling Peter that “unless I wash you, you have not part with me” (NIV). Then in verse 14 Jesus goes on to say “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you should wash one another’s feet” (NIV). This isn’t just a one-way gesture. Jesus isn’t just instructing the disciples to give, but also to receive as He just showed them how to do.

    The nature of God’s love is generative and relational. God’s love towards us creates new love for us to give back. We have the opportunity to multiply love when we receive it, but when we refuse to receive love, we diminish its possibilities. When we do put into practice the act of both giving and receiving love, Jesus reminds us in verse 17 that that’s when we “will experience a life of happiness enriched with untold blessings.” (TPT)

    So how do we receive God’s love? There is an exercise I practice and recommend to others. The truth of God’s love for you is woven throughout His Word and so I encourage you to go on a love scavenger hunt and find the verses of God’s love that speak directly to you. Once you find 5-10 of these verses, read through each statement as you picture God speaking these words over you. In each statement, place your name in the verse. For example, if I were reading Zephaniah 3:17 I would speak out loud “Dawn, for the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs” (NLT).

    You might find it helpful to write each of the verses you find down on index cards or post-it notes so that you can easily flip your way through them as you go through this practice. Repeat this exercise daily for several weeks and soon you will find that these seeds of love begin to take root in your heart.

    Here are a few other verses to get you started:

    “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” (Isaiah 54:10, NIV)

    “This hope doesn’t put us to shame, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:5, NIV)

    “The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)

    Remember God loves you just as you are. God’s love is the purest form of love. So pull down the barriers that have prevented you from experiencing His love and allow Him to show you how much He loves you. And as He shows you, receive it. Allow His love to come into your heart, for my dear sister, you are His beloved.

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  • Finding Significance, Heart Stuff

    Experiencing Belovedness

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    It had been one of those days. You know when you just feel like you can’t do anything right and everyone is mad, or at best, annoyed with you? One of those days when my insecurity seems to have me firmly by the reigns, controlling my every thought and word. The kind of day when tears sting behind my eyes, blinking with sheer will-power not to lose it completely, at least not before lunchtime. “Let me get through half the day without a meltdown, Lord” I silently pray.

    I would love to blame it all on tiredness and hormones, as nursing mama with young baby, but the truth is I woke up not feeling very beloved that day. And it felt like everything around me was confirming that lie. My husband was running late that morning and barely had time to inhale breakfast and head out the door with a distracted goodbye. The kids with whom I had spent at least two hours the night before doing homework with, were cranky and tired and complaining about more school work ahead today.

    As my cheerfulness faded to irritation, and feelings of being unappreciated surfaced, the tension in the room rose. I sulked at my husband and was short with the kids, because honestly, I felt like they were all sucking the joy out of the room. I barely had any reserves and they were zapping the last of them with all their negativity and distractedness. I got the kids out the door and off to school, all of us a little worse for wear, and as I sat in my now quiet car, the nagging sensation of conviction set in.

    In the stillness, I began to reflect over the truth of how the morning had really unfolded, separate from my tiredness and fragile emotions, and began to see things more clearly. When my husband was in a rush and hollered “bye, love you” on his way out the door, he wasn’t loving me less by neglecting to swoop in and embrace me Gone-with-the-Wind-style, he was just running late. When my kids were frustrated about school and homework, they weren’t unappreciative of the help I had given them, they were sharing their real feelings about school and homework being a drag. It had nothing to do with me, but somehow, I internalized everything hard that day. And just like that, the enemy had me right where he wanted me–feeling invisible and doubting my own belovedness, and neglecting the belovedness of those around me.

    When I start to doubt my own belovedness, my focus turns wholly on me. The temptation is great to stay powerless in that place, feeling pitiful and dangerously justified because, yes, families should appreciate and love one another and show it. But they are also human and ultimately not responsible for my happiness, confidence or sense of belovedness. That, my dear friend, is an inside job.

    I drove slowly home and offered a meek prayer to God. “Lord, I feel small and powerless and discouraged. How can I feel “beloved” when it feels like the enemy and the world around me is trying to strip me of my belovedness at every opportunity? I need you to take care of me and remind me that I am loved and cherished and precious. Help the kids have an okay day today, and help this afternoon to go better. Amen”

    It felt like a selfish prayer, with more uttered on my own behalf, than that of the ones I had been cross with that morning. But there it was, simple and honest.

    I got home and opened my Bible app, only half believing that I would stumble across a verse that would lift my spirits a bit. Ephesians 3:19 jumped up and smacked me right between the eyes. 

    May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

    Ephesians 3:19 NLT

    I mouthed the verse softly aloud a few times, thinking about the ways I’ve experienced the love of Christ. His love has been made known to me in so many ways. In the lean times, when money was tight and He provided for us, in the times when blessing seemed to overflow beyond anything I could imagine, through the friend who just “had me on her heart” and thought to reach out, only to discover it’s what I desperately needed in that very moment. He has loved me through His Word, pouring out His words of love.

    As I remembered how Jesus interacted with others in the Bible, I see Him relating to me as well. Tender, patient, kind and cherishing me not as just a person who is loved, but as one of His beloved. Set apart and precious, worthy and treasured. More than liked or tolerated, but worth dying for. A deeper love than I could ever imagine, just like the Bible says, “too great to understand fully”. I was experiencing the love of Christ in that very moment as I reflected on Him, instead of me.

    It was then that I felt my worth return, then that I began to feel truly beloved again, because it is from experiencing the love of Christ that all-sufficient grace flows. It is the place from where I draw my reserves, where I find contentment and peace that passes understanding, and where I find the strength and patience to plod ahead on tough days.

    The love of Christ sustains me when I am weak and restores me when I am weary. And true to God’s promise, it was then that I felt complete and content. Refilled and ready to live in the fullness of life again, instead of the empty place where the enemy would have left me. It was then that the power of the Holy Spirit that comes from God, lifted me out of my funk and set my feet back on solid ground.

    I picked up my kids with a different attitude that afternoon. My circumstances had not changed one bit, but my perspective and the source of my power had shifted dramatically. Instead of feeling small and powerless against my own emotions and the emotions of others, I felt steady and secure. God had reminded me of who I am and that He alone determines my worth and my belovedness. And when I stopped to remember how I have experienced the love of Christ, and who I am because of it, it changed everything.

    We went on to have a lovely day after that and by God’s power, I was able not only to be content in my own belovedness, but I was able to affirm to my family that they are God’s beloved as well. The change in the air was palpable.

    While I have shared about a situation with my family, any of us can find ourselves in the same murky waters in any season or circumstance of life. There are plenty of opportunities out in the great big world that can easily wear on our sense of belovedness. A harsh word from a friend or co-worker, wrestling with loneliness, insecurity or heartache, being overworked and burned out, or just plain waking up on the wrong side of the bed. The devil is always on the lookout for ways to get us stuck feeling less than beloved. But Jesus is ever present, all powerful and faithful to pluck us up out of our despair, and restore us to wholeness in His love.

    Today my dear friend, that is my prayer for you. That you may experience the love of Christ, even though it can feel like a bit of a mystery, so that you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Lean into His love, make your home there and let His joy and peace fill you to overflowing.

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  • Heart Stuff, Knowing God

    Beholding the Savior

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    Often when we think of the Christmas story, we think of the early days–the angel appearing to Mary, her miraculous pregnancy, Joseph and Mary traveling to Bethlehem, Mary giving birth to Jesus in a manger. Every detail of the story is incredible and inspires awe and wonder. 

    But Jesus continued to grow, and even though Mary knew before he was born that he was Immanuel, God with us, Jesus was also her little boy. She tended to his scraped knees when he fell down, and made him soup when he wasn’t feeling well. As he grew into a man, and his ministry began, Mary was no doubt filled with a sense of wonder at hearing about him healing the lame, the sick, and the blind. Mary must have marveled at how God was working in their midst through Jesus. As a mom, I can’t help but think she would have been filled with nostalgia as she remembered cradling Jesus as a baby, and overwhelmed with awe as she watched him turn water into wine and raise Lazarus from the dead. 

    I wonder when the moment was that she began to see Jesus, and all the incredible gifts He had through the Father, and realized that she was beholding the Savior. Was it a certain miracle that He performed that made her stop and recognize God in flesh standing before her? Was it something He said or a Holy Spirit feeling that would prompt her to see Jesus as Lord and worship? 

    What will that moment look like for you, when God’s love breaks through the noise of our everyday hustle and bustle and you behold the Savior in your midst? 

    Perhaps it will be in the soft glow of the Christmas lights as you soak in God’s peace and feel His presence wrapped around you like a warm blanket. Maybe it will be in the face of your child as you pray over them, or in the lyric of your favorite Christmas carol.  It could be in the kind word from a friend or loved one who sees you when you feel invisible and forgotten. Maybe you’ll see Him holding you up in a storm you are currently facing. Whatever it is, in every moment, Jesus is with us, miraculously breaking through the noise and chaos of our world to be our Prince of Peace, Wonderful Counselor, Everlasting Father and Strong God. 

    Advent is a season where we wait, expectantly for Jesus to come. We celebrate what God has done in the past, marvel at what He is doing now and wonder at what He will do in the future, thankful for His hand of love and provision at every turn. Look for Him in the details, see Him guiding your steps and holding your heart. He promises He will never leave us, that He is always with us. This advent season, may we cease our constant striving, be still and behold the Savior.

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  • Heart Stuff, Purposeful Living

    Gratitude During the Holidays

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    I came across an interesting article recently that stated, “you have permission to not be thankful this Thanksgiving.” The author went on to share how he was going to choose a humbug mindset this holiday because 2020 has been a rollercoaster of emotions and challenges. To be honest, I get it, this holiday season is filled with tough choices and changes for families, but gratitude and thankfulness are to be expressed not just when things are going smoothly. Rather they are an attitude to be displayed both in the trials and blessings of life.

    Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (ESV) I italicized the word “in” for a reason, because I think we often replace it with the word “for” which changes how we see the practice of gratitude. God isn’t asking you to be grateful for your family not being able to gather this Thanksgiving. He is not asking you to be grateful for the pandemic that has caused loss, hardships and hurts. God is asking us to find the things to be grateful for in these challenging times. I can be grateful for technology like Zoom that has allowed me to stay connected to loved ones. I can be grateful to have a job that allows me to work remotely. I can be grateful because of the daily walks I get to take with my housemate. I can be grateful for an amazing gluten-free pizza that gets delivered to my house way more often than I care to admit. I can be grateful that even though my travel plans have changed throughout the year, I have found different ways to refuel the wanderer in me. I can be grateful that I got to still do my digital detox weekend at the coast which helped to renew my spirit. I can be grateful for all the amazing people in my life who are still here, even if we are socially distanced or having to connect differently. 

    Practicing gratitude isn’t about forced positivity and it doesn’t mean that you ignore all the challenges you are facing. You most certainly can take time to grieve, but my prayer for you is that you don’t stay stuck there. God can empower you to be an overcomer, someone who is resilient and can find the good even in the hard times. Every time I visit my colleagues and the students and families who are part of the Africa New Life community in Rwanda, I am reminded that gratitude can be found whether we have plenty or little.  For many Rwandans they are not just being challenged by the pandemic, but they have been dealing with poverty and loss from a genocide that took place in their nation over twenty-five years ago. And yet they find ways daily to rejoice and to share their joy and hope with those who come to visit, or through the letters our students send to sponsors here in the United States. That gratitude is not based on their circumstances, but based on their faith that God’s promises are true even if we can’t see the evidence of that in our lives currently.

    When we talk about practicing gratitude, a lot of people immediately think of doing a gratitude journal, which I absolutely love and highly recommend doing, but here are some other ways to not only think about what you are grateful for, but to express your gratitude this holiday season. 

    1. Make a gratitude jar: Find a mason jar as big or small as you want. Then take some construction paper and cut it into slips of paper. Put a marker or pen and the pieces of paper next to the gratitude jar then each day leading up to the holidays pause every time you walk by the jar and jot down something you are grateful for and fold the slip of paper and place it in the jar. On whichever holiday you choose, Thanksgiving or Christmas, plan “gratitude breaks” where you go to the jar and pull out a slip of paper and read out loud what you have to be grateful for.  
    2. Send gratitude cards: If you are sad about not getting to see a family member or friend this holiday season, create a gratitude card for that person and send it to them for a sweet surprise in the mail. Inside the card you could write something as simple as “I am thinking of you.” Or you could write a personalized note filling in the blank, “Because of you….” and share what they have done in your life that you are grateful for. 
    3. Make “thank” calls instead of prank calls: Sit down on the days leading up to the holidays and make a list of people who have done something nice for you lately or in the past. Then set aside time on or around the holiday to call and say thanks. 
    4. Send virtual care packages: You might not be able to get together in person, but you can have fun and send a bunch of photos or silly video clips that will spark a smile and let them know that you are grateful for them this holiday season. 
    5. Create gratitude rocks: My niece and I did this a few years back where we painted rocks with messages that inspire gratitude. Then you can take a walk and set the rocks in special places to surprise other walkers/hikers. 

    This holiday season, what if you focused less on who you are not with, and what you are not doing and more about who you are with and what you are doing? What if you focused on what you have, rather than what you may be missing out on? What thanks can you give in the middle of our hard circumstances? Gratitude amplifies positive emotions and increases your resilience in facing future challenges. Yes, this pandemic holiday season may have its challenges, but I still believe we can put the “thanks” in Thanksgiving and choose to give ourselves permission to create a gratitude habit that shines God’s light and hope even during the dark times. Who knows? Your thankful attitude may just be what someone else is thanking God for this year. 

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  • Heart Stuff, Knowing God

    Be Still and Know

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    1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. 6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. 7 The Lord Almighty is with us;  the God of Jacob is our fortress. 8 Come and see what the Lord has done,  the desolations he has brought on the earth. 9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. 10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 11 The Lord Almighty is with us;  the God of Jacob is our fortress.

    Psalm 46:1-11

    One of my favorite verses that has brought me comfort and peace over the years is Psalm 46:10. “Be still and know that I am God”. It has been a gentle reminder of God’s sovereignty, love and provision, especially in times of stress and difficulty.

    Today, however, I read the whole Psalm instead of just my favorite verse, and noticed some things I hadn’t noticed before. My favorite verse that brings me so much peace is surrounded in the Psalm by chaos and destruction. In verse 2 and 3, Scripture paints a picture of a world in tumult and crisis—mountains falling down, and oceans roaring and foaming. In verse 6 it speaks of nations in uproar and kingdoms falling. I couldn’t help but reminded somewhat of the state of the world today.  Honestly, there are days I don’t think I’d be the least bit surprised to hear that a mountain had fallen into the sea or that some other new calamity had befallen us. It is 2020 after all.

    But all of this chaos described in Psalm 46 is also contrasted with the true and steady character of God. He is described in verse 1 as an “ever present help” in trouble, our refuge, our safe place. In verse 7, we are reminded that God is with us. And in verses 8-9 we see that God will bring about an end to fighting and strife and make wars cease.

    The truth is, God is far bigger and more powerful than any worst case scenario we can imagine, and I can imagine a lot! Even when the world seems out of control, God is always in control, so there’s no reason to be afraid. This amazing truth was exactly what my heart needed to remember.

    In verse 10, God is giving a gentle but powerful command to us to “be still” and know that He is God. He tells our frantic hearts to cease striving, with the same loving authority that He commands the winds and the waves. He calls us to surrender, cease striving and rest assured with absolute certainty, that He is God.

    Dear friend, as turmoil and chaos seem to swirl around you, run to God, our refuge and strength. He is mighty and immovable, and with Him we are safe and secure. He is here and He is in control. We don’t have to fear. In Him we are more immovable than the mountains themselves. Lean back into His loving and capable arms, and rest assured. Breathe deep of His presence and find peace.

    Almighty God and Father, 

    Today our world feels chaotic and overwhelming. Our hearts are weary and we need to find refuge and rest under your wing. Be our help and present hope. Help us to cease striving and fighting and remember that you are greater than anything we will face in this world. You alone are strong enough to hold us steady when the wind threatens to blow us over. Help us to lean into your loving arms and feel the power of your presence and protection. Thank you that we can give you our worries and burdens and you exchange them for peace. Hold close each person praying this prayer now. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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  • Heart Stuff, Purposeful Living

    Reversing Invisibility

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    Not long after I moved back to my hometown, I decided to dive right into church participation by volunteering at a women’s event. I was so excited to reconnect with old friends and catch up with everyone. I imagined taking trips down memory lane and catching up on current life seasons.

    To be honest, I was also anticipating the idea that I had been missed–that my church peers from high school and college would be just as thrilled to see me as I would be to see them. I arrived a bit early to help set up and stand at my greeting post, with a prepared smile and hopeful aspirations, but as each woman entered the building, I was struck with the reality that I did not know these ladies. I did not go to youth group with any of them. They weren’t present at any of my college mission trips or volunteer projects. No, these women were new to me and I was new to them. The friends I thought I would reconnect with had also moved away: some for marriage or work or school. I was the stranger and I felt invisible. It wasn’t the first time I felt out of place in a familiar space. I wonder if you’ve ever experienced similar atmospheres at work or at family functions or even at church.

    Sometimes, we each can find ourselves in places where we feel out of place. It’s hard to navigate unfamiliar territories while simultaneously dealing with secret uncertainties in our thoughts and feelings. But this is a normal occurrence from time to time. No matter how secure you are, confidence prefers to be comfortable. When we find ourselves in a situation that is new and uncomfortable, our tendency may be to withdraw and not take the risk to reach out.

    As I took a seat at a table that was already occupied by women who seemed to be close friends, I flashed a shy smile and sat in silence. The group of women were kind, but I wasn’t sure if I would fit in with them and anxious thoughts began to cloud my mind. What if I’m older or younger than they are? What if they are all single? What if none of them have children? Do we have anything in common? Maybe one of them will just say something to me so that I won’t have to risk saying something they can’t relate to.

    As I felt myself get worked up over a scenario that wasn’t reality, I realized I had a choice to make: I could sit there and hope to be noticed, I could engage myself in something else that wouldn’t require me to take a risk to be vulnerable, or I could use maturity that comes from believing that Jesus makes me valuable and that I had valuable things to contribute at the table.

    And though it is a vulnerable thing to extend ourselves when we feel out of our comfort zone, that is the call of spreading the love of Jesus – not just amongst our comfortable places, spaces and faces, but to whomever the Lord puts in our path.

    Though our human nature tends to size people up, it’s more productive to lovingly extend who we are rather than assume who others are or aren’t. Celebration- not comparisons- are the key to reversing invisibility. We cannot celebrate others if we choose to withdraw from them. Each of us can be at fault for holding ourselves back out of intimidation or fear, but concealing who we are isn’t honest and it will hold us back from running on mission to share the love of Jesus.

    Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act”

    Proverbs 3:27

    Sometimes, we are hesitant to extend ourselves even when the opportunity is made obvious. The vulnerability it requires can somehow seem to cost more to lose than to gain. Sometimes, reaching out is scary because we don’t know if the invitation is mutual, but I am honestly learning that once we set our sails open to the truth that God’s love and value over us is charting our course, the winds of uncertainty don’t seem so scary.

    I wish I could say that I mustered up the courage to complement one of the girls at the table or to ask about their work day or their family or what college they went to, or to simply complement them in order to open up the opportunity to engage, but I didn’t.

    I allowed the confidence of their conversation to make me feel doubtful. But, God is good, isn’t He? Even when we cower in doubt, His Holy Spirit has a way of lining up our lives through situations He has orchestrated.

    Though I was hesitant, my friend Jetta was not. She joined the table, plopped down right beside me, and began to chat away as if I had been in her life for years and years. It was her willingness to extend herself that helped connect me to so many other sweet ladies who also felt uncertain about extending themselves. It only takes one person who is willing to reach out in the confidence of Christ and in mission to be loving and vulnerable. I’m so glad Jetta was that friend for me and since then, I have grown in becoming that friend for others: that friend who doesn’t see a stranger, but rather sees a sister.

    I want to encourage us all to push past the doubt that uncertainty tries to cloud around our opportunities to be loving, vulnerable and engaging. If you have a shy personality the way I do, understand that when you withhold yourself, you are withholding the goodness of God that His love has placed within you. We may not all be comfortable standing on a stage or telling public jokes or being the center of attention, but that’s not what extending ourselves is about. It’s not about attention to ourselves, it’s about extending the love of Jesus that the Holy Spirit will use to give glory to Himself and edification to His church.

    If there is an upcoming opportunity where you may be in contact with someone you don’t know very well, I hope you will consider extending yourself in Christ’s love. You have valuable things to share with others, but they’ll never benefit if you keep yourself to yourself!

    Trust the Lord as He aligns your life with other precious sisters in Christ. Take every opportunity to use your time, your gifts, and your life to share Jesus with those He’s placed around you (Ephesians 5:16)!

    I’m cheering you on!

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  • Heart Stuff

    Fragile Heart

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    Fragile. That is how I would best describe myself these past couple days. Not that my body is particularly fragile right now, but rather my heart. I teeter between feeling like I have it together and I just might fall apart–all it would take is just the tiniest feather of a thing and I might just fall all to pieces.

    I don’t always feel this way but sometimes life throws a lot at us and after a while it takes its toll. Stress compounds stress as we face uncertain circumstances, new challenges, life’s ups and downs, and all our day-to-day obligations .

    Days like these I want to stay in bed, block out the world, and watch Hallmark movies all day in my fuzzy pants. I just want to switch off my brain, if only for a day and feel some relief from my own anxious thoughts.

    I have found there are some circumstances I can easily give over to the Lord, confident that He is working and capable, allowing me to be filled with peace and confidence that His timing is perfect and His purposes will be accomplished.

    But there are other times, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, or my sense of security, that I struggle to feel that same peace and confidence. Waiting on the Lord feels like an eternity in the wilderness, instead of a journey hand in hand with Jesus. It’s a continual struggle to keep turning my concern and circumstance over to God to reclaim His peace once again.

    In these fragile moments, I have found that God is extra gentle with me. When I turn to Him in prayer, He reassures me that He’s got me and everything will be okay. He is a loving Father that comforts and carries my confidence for me when I have none left. He lovingly reminds me of truth–that He is my source of peace and security.

    While we may feel fragile at times, we can be assured that our God is not. He is strong enough to carry us through whatever we face, powerful enough to clear the path before us, and gentle enough to wrap us in his protective embrace.

    I love the imagery of jars of clay in 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, 16-18:

    But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed… Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

    Just like a fragile clay jar, we can feel cracked, broken or chipped. When life hands us a heavy load, we can end up feeling like we just might break. We are fragile beings and that’s okay. Our strength comes from God. He is our victory, our confidence and our protector. We will face difficult things in this life but we will always find victory in Christ. It’s through our frailty and weakness that God’s light shines brightest and His power is revealed. His strength is made perfect through our weakness.

    If you are feeling overwhelmed by what life has brought your way, offer up your fragile heart to God. He is faithful and loving and will handle it with care. May God wrap you up in His strong and safe arms as you lean into His love today.

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  • Heart Stuff

    Giving God The Heavy Stuff

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    “Ping”. There it is. Another notification, another status update and late breaking news report. With the advent of social media and instant access to what’s happening all around the world, we are flooded daily with knowledge of more information than we are truly capable of processing. Major world-wide events, politics, and local tragedies stream in real time through a tiny hand-held screen. Sometimes for me it feels as though the never ending flood of information is inescapable.

    During the week, I work as an on-air personality, reporting the daily news for a couple of local radio stations. Before I go to bed each night, I brush up on what’s happening out in the great, big world. Then when I wake up in the morning, I check in again to catch any of the late breaking stuff I may have missed while we were sleeping. I’ve rejoiced at seeing God at work in some of the stories I read, of neighbors helping neighbors and churches serving in their communities. The sad reality is that the majority of stories I read in the news are bad. That’s how the news machine works. I have to try to compartmentalize things and stay objective, keeping the negativity and suffering at an arm’s length and focus on the positive when I can. Some days though, a certain headline, or detail of a story will literally bring me to my knees.

    One morning, as I was sitting at my computer, scrolling through the headlines, my eyes fell upon a story of a driveby shooting that injured several local teenagers. The article included an eyewitness account of a local mom who ran to the scene to help. I read her words and how she cared for these wounded kids, praying over them and speaking love and comfort to them in their moment of terror, and I found myself weeping uncontrollably. It was all just too much. I turned off my mic and held my head in my hands and sobbed.

    As the tears rolled down my face, I worried that I might not be able to pull myself together in time for the next broadcast just minutes away. I knew that my shoulders were not broad enough, or strong enough to carry the weight of all the feelings flooding in that morning, and I began to pray. I prayed for the families that lost children that day, I prayed for the mom who stopped to minister to the wounded, for the group of young people who did the shooting, and for my fragile heart that only my Heavenly Father could restore from this overwhelming ache. When I whispered a weak ‘amen’, I breathed deeply and felt at peace. Even though I could not reach directly into these difficult situations in the world, I knew my prayers could. I let God carry the heavy for me, turned my mic back on, and finished the morning news.

    You see, we are not meant to carry this much. Because of technology, we are privy to every tragedy that unfolds in almost every corner of the world. Our news feeds are full of them, stirring in us a sense of helplessness, hopelessness and profound anxiety. As fellow humans, we feel compelled to act, to speak out to do something. But what can we do? We can’t be everywhere at once and even if we could, we have limited resources, strength and wisdom to fix all the things.

    But God can.

    Isaiah 40:12-14 says “Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who can fathom the Spirit of the Lord, or instruct the Lord as his counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge, or showed him the path of understanding”

    God is truly Omniscient, knowing every detail of every situation before it even happens. He can see the past, present and future all in one view and knows exactly what to do. He is Omnipresent, able to be everywhere at once, reaching into situations that I cannot. He sees each and every person in their need and is closer to them than the air they breathe. He is Omnipotent, strong enough to carry the heavy. He commands the wind and the waves and will bring justice like a river. He lifts up the weary and gives us His strength, and brings down the oppressors, and one day He will set all things right again.

    I think I sometimes buy into the lie that to be effective in the world, I must be all these things too. All-knowing, all-powerful and everywhere at once. When I find myself overwhelmed by the concerns and weight of the world, and I turn to God in prayer, the pressure fades and I am reminded of the truth. God did not create me to carry the world, He is already doing that.

    God created me with a different task in mind. The truth is, while my influence and power are limited, God’s is not. I saw this best explained by a friend of mine, who shared the idea of 3 concentric circles. It gave me a great visual reminder of what I am called to carry and what must be given to God.

    The center circle represents my circle of influence. Our circle of concern will always be bigger than our circle of influence. But when facing a problem or crisis in the world, it can be helpful to discern where we actually have direct influence.

    For example, I cannot solve the evil that is racism. But I can have influence over my children and in my household. I can teach them that all are created in the image of God, and to see the belovedness and beauty in everyone. I cannot solve hunger around the world by myself, but I can feed my neighbor or volunteer at my local food bank. I can’t stop depression and anxiety for every person that suffers, but I can be intentional about caring for my own mental health, or call and check in on a friend and care for theirs.

    God is glorified in all of these things. He has placed you exactly where you are, in this season, for a reason. He has good works prepared for you (Eph. 2:10)and has given you influence to make a difference.

    Sometimes the big things happening aren’t so far removed. They are happening right under our own roof. Loss and grief, financial stress or difficult relationships. They all have the potential at any moment to feel too heavy to bear. It might seem easy to compartmentalize things we see out in the world, but how do we handle it when it’s right in our own family?

    In Matthew 10:29-31 we find reassurance that no detail, need or concern is beneath God’s notice and care. “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

    Dear one, the very same God that can carry the weight of the world, sees you and can carry you too. It may even be that someone else’s circle of influence will overlap into your situation, and they will be bearers of blessing, comfort and relief.

    We can go to God with every concern (1 Peter 5:7). It is in prayer that God meets us where we are, shoulders our burdens and equips us for good work in every season. He is faithful and kind and big enough to handle anything life throws our way. God is the One that gave us hearts that care deeply in the first place. And then He placed us in positions of influence where He can guide us and shape our lives and the lives of others. Sometimes we can’t see it in the moment, but God is working through you right where you are.

    If the world feels like a bit too much to bear right now, take stock of your circles. It’s ok for your heart to break over what breaks the Lord’s heart too. There are real and heavy things happening in the world. But God has already overcome the world! Ask Him to show you what you can and can’t influence, write it down, and then wrap all of it up in prayer. God is all knowing, all powerful and working in every detail. He’s got this, and He’s got you too.

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