Month: March 2023

  • Easter, Heart Stuff

    Is It Ok To Have Doubts About God?

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    There’s a song that I used to sing at church when I was in college that gets stuck in my head often. And this past week it’s been living there rent-free, on loop.

    The lyric starts, “To come into the presence of the Lord is to be changed. You cannot come into His presence and remain the same. So change me, Lord, remake me, Lord, reshape me in the image of your Son…”

    It had a simple melody with a simple message: being in God’s presence leaves an indelible mark on our hearts and lives. It’s something we see time and time again in the Bible. When a person spends time with Jesus, there is a startling transformation in them that can only be attributed to the Lord. 

    One striking example (and one of my favorites) is in the story of Mary Magdalene. The first time she meets Jesus, He heals her from being possessed by seven demons. She joins Him in ministry from that point on, as a believer, supporter, and friend. 

    In John 20, after Jesus is crucified and buried, Mary returns to the tomb with a few others, only to find it empty and Jesus’ body gone. Not knowing yet that Jesus had risen from the dead, she was in deep grief and despair. It is then that the resurrected Jesus meets here there, calls her by name and she recognizes Him, and runs to Him. Jesus commissions her to go and tell the disciples that He has risen and she doesn’t waste a second. She goes straight there and exclaims, “I have seen the Lord!”

    In the presence of Jesus, her despair was transformed to joy, her sorrow to elation, and any doubts she had were transformed to confident faith. 

    Later that evening, Jesus appears again, this time to the disciples that are gathered. He shows them His hands and feet where the nails had held Him to the cross and his side that had been pierced during His crucifixion. They are in awe and overjoyed at the sight of the Risen Lord standing before them. 

    And in the presence of Jesus, their confusion is transformed to clarity, their despair is transformed to hope, and any lingering questions are transformed to a joyful proclamation, “We have seen the Lord!” 

    But not everyone was there. Thomas was not at the empty tomb. He was not with the disciples that evening. We aren’t really sure where he was. It was Jewish custom for friends, family, and loved ones to remain in town throughout the week during this most intense part of the mourning period. So it’s likely that Thomas was around, but he still had not seen Jesus.

    Everyone grieves differently, and it’s possible that Thomas was so overcome by grief, so lost in confusion and sorrow, that he simply could not bear to be with the very people that reminded him of all he thought he’d lost. Maybe it just made the loss and pain all too real. 

    I can imagine the pull to isolate himself would have been powerful. But in being away from the very people that could surround and support him, he had missed seeing Jesus face to face not once, but twice. 

    When the disciples told Thomas that they had seen the Lord, he struggled hard to wrap his head around it. Maybe it seemed too good to be true, or maybe his grief was clouding his faith that Jesus had already done the impossible and still could. You can almost hear the pain in his voice when he responds, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” 

    Thomas gets a bad rap for doubting what the other disciples had experienced, but it wasn’t necessarily Thomas resisting faith. He was someone who was inquisitive by nature, often asking for specifics and logistics as he earnestly strove to understand Jesus and follow Him well. Thomas was struggling to reconcile what he thought he knew about Jesus and the crucifixion his own eyes had witnessed, as well as process this new news of his resurrection. It not only defied reason, it seemed too good to be true. But Thomas doesn’t walk away. He continued to wrestle and wonder and question. And that is so incredibly important.

    Suzie Eller shared something that she heard recently from a friend: “The opposite of faith is not doubt, it’s indifference. If you are doubting, you’re still in the game.” 

    Suzie went on to say, “How do you come to an understanding unless you wrestle, unless you ask the hard questions and you’re honest with how you are feeling? God is the safest place to go with that. It’s essential.” 

    Thomas was not indifferent, he was wrestling. He was hurting but he was still in the game. 

    A week later, at just the right time, Jesus appears again to the disciples. And this time, Thomas was there. 

    Almost as if to finally break Thomas’ dependence on his own faculties and reason, Jesus suddenly shows up inside a room with a securely locked door. I can’t explain the physics of it except that Jesus can do whatever He wants. He is God. And maybe it’s a hint that our resurrected bodies in the next life are going to be way cooler than the ones we have now. 

    The point is, Jesus’ entrance defies logic once more, reinforcing His power and sovereignty in every circumstance. Jesus knows Thomas’ doubts, and He lovingly meets Thomas at the exact point of his need. He shows Thomas His hands and his side. Finally face to face with the resurrected Jesus, Thomas can’t help but exclaim, “My Lord and my God!” 

    In the presence of Jesus, Thomas’ doubts are transformed to confident faith, his reluctance to believe is transformed to stalwart conviction, and his hesitance is transformed to bold proclamation.  

    But the scene doesn’t end there. Jesus addresses Thomas again, but He also has a message for us: “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

    Friend, that’s us! Jesus didn’t say “blessed are those who never have questions or doubts”. He says blessed are those who believe even though they haven’t seen him in the flesh. 

    Jesus wasn’t asking Thomas to check his brains at the door, and he doesn’t require that of us either. He created us to reason, think and question. But Jesus is calling us to something deeper: to fully trust Him and have faith, even when it doesn’t seem to make sense, to depend on God more than our own understanding and experiences, and to believe that God has the bigger picture in view, even before we see it unfold. 

    There are no questions that are off-limits or too big for God. Being a Christian doesn’t mean we never have doubts and always understand how God is working or where. But at the end of the day, we have a choice to believe that God is still God and that His ways are the best ways.

    As Easter approaches, maybe you find yourself longing to see Jesus at work in your life. Maybe you are struggling to see where God is in the middle of a difficult circumstance and how you’ll ever get through. Maybe your heart is hurting for someone close to you, and you want to help them “stay in the game” as they wrestle with their faith. Or maybe you just are aching to feel God’s presence in your life once more. 

    Please don’t wrestle with this stuff alone. We are not meant to work these things out as a solo mission. Thomas may have missed out on experiencing the presence of Jesus sooner because he was off on his own. It was when he was surrounded and supported by the faith of others who had been with Jesus, that Thomas’ own faith was strengthened. 

    We experience the love and presence of the Lord when we are together. He works in us and through us to build one another up and to support one another. Jesus knew it would be hard to believe when we haven’t had a chance to see His hands and touch His side. That’s why He gave us church families and community. It’s why we have His Word to guide us and comfort us. It is time spent in God’s Word and with His people that transforms us and our faith. 

    He is also a God who knows us well, just like He knew Thomas. He knows how we are made, what we need, and what will strengthen us and build up our faith at just the right time and in just the right ways. We can bring our doubts, worries, and questions to Him and He will meet us there with grace and an invitation to deeper faith. As we lean on Jesus, He gives us an eternal perspective, and our fears are transformed to faith, our doubts transformed to testimony and our hearts are transformed to look more like His. He is loving and patient with us and He won’t ever give up on us. He will show up for us over and over so that we too can victoriously proclaim, “I have seen the Lord.”

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  • Heart Stuff, Identity in Christ

    Made For Surrender

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    Part of living the “Made For More” life that we have been talking about so much lately, is learning how to trust God no matter what, with everything we have and everything we are. 

    But I’ll be the first to admit that it isn’t always an easy thing to do. Especially when we find ourselves facing big, difficult situations that we just can’t see a way through. When we are staring down an impossible situation, one where we are unsure of the outcome or where the money will come from or when the healing will come, we just want to know how it will all work out. We can feel tempted to let despair overtake us. We long for a peace of knowing that it will all be okay.

    In these times, the only solution is to turn to God with our situation and our fears. But, for most of us this can be difficult because we are in essence surrendering everything into God’s hands–including our control over the situation. We like to think we are in control, even if we know deep down that we are not. So, in order to surrender and trust, we must believe that God has our best interest in mind and that His love for us runs deep–that He delights to give us all that He has and all that He is. We must first believe that He is a good God and wants good for us.

    Psalm 34:8-9 says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need.” 

    Sometimes the best way to see this truth in our lives is to look back on God’s faithfulness to us in the past. When we are in the middle of our current circumstances, it can be easy to forget how God has been there for us or answered our prayers in the past. 

    Leaning on our remembrance of God’s faithfulness to us, helps us to trust Him again when the future is scary and unknown. We can look back on a history of His loving faithfulness and kindness to us–the ways He has gone above and beyond all we asked or imagined. And in times when we can’t even see His hand in our lives, we can look to the ways He has shown up for His people throughout history.

    Just a glimpse through the Bible we see even our Bible heroes didn’t always have it so easy. History is full of adversity and triumph. Suffering and blessing. Even the people of God aren’t immune from facing hardships–it’s become a normal part of living in this broken world. Every person we read about in the Bible faced difficult situations just like we do, and they all had to decide if God was on their side and turn to Him for the outcome of their situation.

    For example, David was a scrawny teen who was the youngest of all his brothers, and yet He trusted God to help him defeat the giant Philistine. 

    Esther was faced with the opportunity to save her people from destruction. Knowing that coming before the King could cost her her life, she sought the Lord and then confidently said, “I will go to the king on behalf of my people, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” 

    Ruth was a woman who had suffered great loss and found herself without a home or security. Yet she chose to trust her future to her mother-in-law, Naomi, and Naomi’s God, and went to a foreign land, believing that God would provide.

    Mary, a young girl who probably wasn’t much over the age of 14, was just told that despite being a virgin, she would now conceive the Son of God. Knowing that this situation would bring judgment, accusations, shame, and rejection, she could have easily said, “Yeah, this sounds too much for me–I’m out.” But instead, confidently said, “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.” 

    Everyone of them faced an uncertain outcome, but they knew enough about God’s character to know that choosing to go with God was better than anything they could do on their own. They might have been young, poor, desperate or scared, but we are still reading their stories today because they are a living example of trusting in God no matter what they faced. 

    Their faith and trust in the Lord is what gave them the strength to face their situation, boldness and courage to know God would provide. They entrusted and surrendered all they were and all they had to their God who could be trusted. They knew that He had everything they needed to face whatever circumstance came their way. He WAS all they needed. They knew this because He was a God that was active in their life and they could recount His past faithfulness and goodness. 

    And He is a God who is active in our lives too. His faithfulness and goodness have followed us all of our lives as well. But at times, we still find ourselves wondering if God is even there, and if good really can come out of what we are going through. When doubts begin to rise and our hearts start to race with questions, we must remember who He is and what is true: God is FOR us and He LOVES us.

    When we are having trouble seeing God working in our situation, we must first ask ourselves, “Have I invited God into my situation? Or have I been engineering my own outcomes, relying on my own strength?” As humans, our first instinct is to try and fix our desperate situation ourselves, but we must remember that God doesn’t need our help, He needs our willingness and surrender, our faith and trust. 

    When we let go and lay it all in God’s hands, willing to say “thy will be done”, that is when we will find the peace and joy we are longing for, because the outcome is now in God’s hands. Laying it all in God’s hands sets us free from our fear and anxiety over our situation. When we realize that God can see the bigger picture and He knows what we do not, that He is infinitely wiser and wants our best, we can confidently know that His way is the best way.

    Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”

    Because of Jesus and the future we have in Him, we can face the difficult things in this life with a faith and confidence that just doesn’t make sense to the world. Jesus came to bring us an unshakable kingdom, one that is not moved by the things of this world. He came so that our souls would find a peace and joy that is also unshakable. One that nothing in the world can touch or take away.

    Jesus says in John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

    When we choose to surrender to God’s will and God’s ways, entrusting Him with the outcome, all the provisions of His kingdom are now at our disposal simply because we belong to Him. He guards our hearts and minds and plans ahead for us. This is our reality no matter what new threat appears in our news feed. No matter what happens in this world, this reality is still true. We have nothing to fear, for we have the great King on our side. He loves to provide all we need as we seek to live in His unshakable Kingdom.

    When we choose to lean into this strong and unshakable Kingdom of God, trusting Him with our circumstances, we find that our hope is strengthened and we begin to see God at work in our situation. And when we get to the other side, just like our Bible heroes, we have a story to tell. Just as our faith is bolstered by seeing their faith and trust in the Lord, others will see your story and how you chose to have faith and trust, and be encouraged to do the same. This is all part of what it means to be made for more. 

    When we believe that God is at work even in the difficult situation we are facing, we can begin to see how He will bring glory out of it. It is never easy, but it does get easier when we can keep looking back to God’s character and past faithfulness. 

    You will be able to proclaim God’s faithfulness, because you will have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. And that proclamation becomes an invitation to others.

    Your witness and trust that God is working in even the worst of situations, points a watching world to the One who can bring them hope. Don’t underestimate the impact that your story of faith in times of trial can have on those around you. God will bring good out of the worst situations, and our story can point others to a God that is faithful and loves us deeply. Our job is simply to trust Him. 

    You only need to take a few steps with a willing heart and God will run the rest of the way. He just needs your mustard seed of faith, your few loaves and fishes, and He will do great things.

    Maybe you are in a place where you are so tired of holding it all together. Maybe you are in a circumstance that is leaving you feeling hopeless. We all face trials of various forms each and every day. Please know God is right there with you, waiting for you to turn to Him with all that is troubling you and all that is in your heart. He is a good, good father and nothing is too big or impossible for God.

    Father God, you are so good to us. There are times when we cannot not see your goodness. Help us turn to you. Lord increase our faith. Help us remember your faithfulness to us in the past and that you are faithful still, even when we are not. You never leave us and would never forsake us. Help us to trust you with our whole life. May we seek your will and your glory. In Jesus’ Name we pray, Amen.

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  • Finding Significance, Heart Stuff

    Made For Worship

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    Worship is a remarkable phenomenon, as we are currently witnessing thousands of people gather in worship around the nation. We saw it unfold at Asbury college when one ordinary chapel session continued for 10 days before it was moved off campus to accommodate the flood of people who were arriving to participate. Worship continues to break out on other college campuses, churches, and communities inspiring believers everywhere and piquing the curiosity of a watching world. It’s no surprise that people are drawn to worship, and seeking to connect with God. After all, it’s what we are made for.

    From the Garden of Eden to now, we were created to be in relationship with God. Our hearts are designed to long for Him, and worship plays a vital role in our relationship with God and in living the Kingdom life to which God has invited us. 

    Isaiah 61:1-3 describes a glimpse of the Kingdom of Heaven, the kind of life that Jesus came to bring and set loose in the world.

    “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

    When it comes to worship, we often limit our definition of worship to singing songs and reading a Scripture or two in church on Sundays. But when we look at Kingdom life, we see that worship is so much more. It is every aspect of our being pointing to God and living every facet of our lives as a sign and a foretaste of God’s Kingdom coming. 

    That means singing songs and hymns and reading scripture and praying, but it also means comforting a neighbor, fixing a meal for a new mom, or listening to the grocery checker when they are having a hard day. Worship can be loving your family, kissing boo-boos and helping with math homework. It can be helping someone cross the street, or treating one another with love and grace. 

    All of these things can be acts of worship to the Lord, but I want to zoom in specifically on the time we set aside intentionally to worship the Lord both on our own and in our church families.  

    When we gather together for worship, we remember what God has done in the past, rejoice in what He is doing now, and look forward to what He will do in the future with eager anticipation. In worship, we have an opportunity to be close to God and grow in our relationship with Him. It’s a chance to recognize God’s Sovereignty, stand in awe of His love, realign our hearts with His, and surrender to His will. Worship is an act of our devotion to God and a source of encouragement and edification for others. (Ephesians 5:19-20)

    But what astounds me, is that in worship, God meets us right where we are but He does not leave us there. His Holy Spirit works powerfully in our praise and we are truly transformed. In worship, we can encounter God, and in doing so find exactly what we need, right when we need it most. 

    When it comes to worship, especially in churches, it can be tempting to disqualify ourselves or to keep God at an arm’s length. Maybe we are keenly aware of our sins and imperfections and don’t feel worthy to be in the presence of the Lord. Maybe we are broken or hurting and feel like we have to pretend we have it all together before we walk through the doors of the church. Maybe we are scared that if we let our walls down, God may lead us out of our comfort zone into the unknown.  

    But in John 4:23-24, we hear from Jesus’ own lips the kind of worshipper He’s looking for:

    “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” 

    In this passage of Scripture, Jesus is talking to a Samaritan woman who was an outcast in society, known for having 5 husbands, and whose life was a complete mess. Because of her societal prejudice against her gender, race, and her checkered past, she had both disqualified herself and been disqualified by her community, from being able to worship God. There wasn’t a fake smile big enough that she could put on to distract anyone from the shambles her life had become. And yet Jesus assures her she can bring her whole heart and her whole mess to Him, and just worship. 

    He says it’s all about the heart. He will take care of all the messy bits, if we just give Him our whole hearts, and allow the Holy Spirit and the truth of God’s Word to work in us. 

    And there’s the miracle of it! When we bring our hearts to God in worship, if we are willing, He will not give it back in the same condition. He renews it, makes it whole, and restores us to right relationship with Him.

    I know from experience. 

    There have been times in the past when I’d show up to worship in the worst mood. Cranky with everyone and sick of myself too. I’d sit down in my church pew like a toddler in timeout, with a scowl on my face and little in my heart that resembled gratitude or grace. My attendance was out of sheer obedience, but song by song, Bible verse by Bible verse, the Holy Spirit would go to work and my walls would begin to come down. In the presence of the Lord, my heart was softened and by the end of worship, I was filled with the love of God and overflowing with thankfulness and peace. I came to God with a heart that was ugly, and God made it pure. 

    I’ve gone to worship in seasons of grief and found there were times I could barely whisper the words. My heart was so heavy that sometimes I’d just sit when everyone else would stand. I just couldn’t muster the strength to rise. But bit by bit, as I listened to songs of hope, encouragement, and of our God who never lets go of us, my heart would start to lighten and I’d begin to experience a comfort that words could not describe. The circumstances of my heartache and pain had not changed, but I had. I felt held, safe, and secure in the arms of my Heavenly Father who met me there, to walk alongside me in my grief. It was in worship that I was reminded that God sees me, knows me, and will not let my grief consume me, because His love is stronger. 

    There have been other times still when my self-sufficiency and pride kept me from obeying God, from following Him with my whole heart, and doing the thing He has asked me to do. And yet in worship, I’d remember the Lord and who He is (and just as importantly, who I am not.) My heart would soften, not out of obligation, but in joyful willingness to join God in the work He is doing. 

    If I was unsure of myself, overwhelmed by insecurity, and stuck in a cycle of comparison, it was in worship that I was reminded of my belovedness as a daughter of the King. My heart was renewed and my vision cleared so that I could see myself and others more like Jesus does. 

    Isaiah 61:3 says that God gives us a “garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

    In the Kingdom of God, we are not stuck in despair, or even prisoners of our past. We are given a new heart and a garment of praise! When we allow God to transform our hearts and our lives, we become like mighty oak trees, displaying the splendor of the Lord for all the world to see. We are living the life we were made to live. We are living a life of worship. 

    Hebrews 12:28 says it beautifully: “Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe.”  

    That is my prayer for all of us dear friend, that everything we say and do could be worship to God. And if you’re going through a difficult season, or you’re just not feeling it today, I want to encourage you to spend some time in worship-in your car, in your closet, or on a walk with a friend. If you’re a music lover like me, check out this song. Sit with the Lord and let Him give you praise for your despair, and beauty for your ashes. And as God transforms us to be more and more like Him, may our lives be a little glimpse of His Kingdom breaking through, like sunbeams filtering through the branches of a mighty oak. 

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