Month: May 2023

  • Uncategorized

    Finding Rest When You Can’t Slow Down

    • by

    “Have a great day! I love you!” 

    I smiled and waved to my boys as they walked into school, my eyes straining to soak up one more precious glimpse of them before I began my hour-long commute to work. 

    As I merged onto the highway, the tears began to fall. It had already been a long week, and it was only Tuesday. Between working two jobs, taking care of the kiddos, trying to keep the house at least functionally clean, and making sure we ate real food at some point, I was running on fumes. And my schedule showed no sign of slowing. 

    I’ll admit that there have been times when I’ve taken on too much, and I had to humble myself and give my plans over to God and reprioritize according to His will. But this was not one of those seasons. 

    I had already trimmed the fat from my schedule. I had not taken on anything extra, there wasn’t anything I could cancel or move around on the calendar. The responsibilities on my plate were non-negotiable. I had to make it through this week somehow and I was out of steam. 

    I knew that I needed more rest, but it seemed impossible from my perspective. In my mind, I called out to God, “How am I supposed to rest and feel your peace when I can’t slow down?”

    I remembered Matthew 11:28-30, where Jesus tenderly says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

    At a glance, nothing about a yoke sounds restful or inviting. After all, a yoke is used to hitch beasts of burden to a plow to work a field. But the yoke Jesus is talking about is submission and obedience to God’s will and loving instruction. Jesus is inviting us to take up the light and easy yoke of the Kingdom of God with the promise that we will not find merely rest, but rest for our very souls. 

    In my state of urgency and overwhelm, I had missed an important part of His invitation: to take up His yoke and to learn from Him. 

    I think I had always stopped in my mind after the first part because I didn’t want to “take on” anything else. It didn’t dawn on me that when God said that He would provide for all our needs, He meant rest too. 

    Jesus invites us to put down our yoke of self-reliance and take up the light and easy yoke of God-reliance. What’s more, we don’t even have to figure out how! Jesus said we could just learn from Him. 

    Jesus was intentional about living in a rhythm of rest and conversation with God. He often withdrew from crowds and the business around Him to pray to the Father. Other times, He’d pray right there on the spot. 

    Jesus lived every single day in the presence and power of His Father in Heaven and submitted to His will over and over again. He demonstrated the same kind of dependence on God that He intends for us to live out in our lives.

    And while we can’t always withdraw to lonely places to pray, there are a million little moments where we can steal away and talk to God. We can connect with Him while we wait for our kids in the school pickup line. We can sit with Jesus while we rock our babies to sleep, or as we make a meal for a sick family member. We can walk with Him through the aisles of the grocery store, and know that He is with us, or pause in His presence as we get the mail. We can sit in the car in the parking lot and lean on Him for a few minutes while we listen to a worship song. I’ve even stayed in the bathroom an extra moment or two and prayed. I mean, it’s called a restroom for a reason right?

    When we pause and connect with God, suddenly, we no longer feel alone, because we become aware that He was right there waiting for us. We get to catch a glimpse of God’s eternal perspective, and as we breathe in His peace, He steadies our souls.  

    I love the way the Message version phrases this same passage of scripture:

    “Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”

    Ahhhh….the unforced rhythms of grace. Can you imagine? 

    That’s the light and easy yoke of Kingdom life. It’s inviting. It’s free. You don’t have to strive for it or earn it, you get to just relax into the grace-filled arms of God. 

    And every moment that you pause and talk to God is an opportunity for His grace to sustain you, fill you up, and encourage you, simply because you are His beloved daughter. 

    Living in the unforced rhythms of grace means you don’t have to be perfect. It means you are not defined by the laundry pile waiting to be folded or the dishes in the sink. Your worth is not determined by the clothes that you wear or what groups you volunteer for or how many activities your kids do. 

    You are defined by Christ’s love for you. He invites you to come to Him, tell Him what’s on your mind. To tell Him about your day, and let Him walk it with you. 

    As we live in the presence and power of our loving Savior, we get to trade the world’s rhythms of urgency and self-reliance for the unforced rhythms of God’s grace. 

    By the time I got to work that morning, I had surrendered my will and my plans to God. I told Him that I was weary and needed rest. I told Him that I couldn’t do this on my own strength and asked Him to help me and give me rest.

    Moment by moment, as I walked through my day, Jesus was there. 

    I stole away for a minute in the hallway before I went into my first meeting of the day and just took a few deep breaths. As I leaned against the wall, He reminded me that He will always be my safe leaning place. 

    I bumped into a friend at lunch that I hadn’t connected with in a while and shared a laugh for a few minutes before I had to head back into the fray. Just the brief interaction was a blessing from God that lifted my spirits and renewed my energy. 

    Later that day, I got word that another important meeting had been rescheduled and I was able to leave early, and beat rush-hour traffic home. 

    And even though the weight of workload was heavy, God gave me peace, strength and rest, at just the right time and in just the right ways. 

    The next day was longer and more challenging, but as I continued to lean on God and steal moments away with Him, I got to practice a new rhythm of reliance on Him. I was learning that I could trust Him to provide what I needed and that all I needed to do was continue to walk and talk with Him. And when the weekend arrived, I was able to take a real break, knowing that the next week was already in His hands. 

    My prayer for you today is that you’ll steal a moment with God to tell him what you need. Let Him be your safe leaning place as you breathe in His peace and allow Him to steady your soul. His shoulders are broad enough and strong enough to carry you and everything else you are carrying. I pray that you’ll trade your heavy yoke for His light and easy one, and begin to learn the unforced rhythms of His beautiful grace.

    Read more

  • Purposeful Living

    Can Anyone Be a Mentor?

    • by

    I sat down in my chair that Sunday morning feeling like I had just run a marathon. I was weary to my very bones. I was struggling hard to balance life with a 6-month-old and a toddler, a full-time ministry, and all the other responsibilities of life. Just getting out the door to go to church that day felt like an epic battle. In fact, every day I had to fight to make it to bedtime without having an emotional breakdown. 

    The struggle I was feeling inside must have been evident because, at the end of worship, a lady named Pam approached me. “You look like you need to talk. Come with me.” She gently helped me out of my chair and walked me to a quiet room with comfortable couches. I gratefully slumped into one of them as tears began to spring from my eyes. Pam handed me a box of tissue and lovingly asked me what was wrong.

    The words all came tumbling out, “I don’t know how other moms do this, but I am struggling to give everyone the attention they need, clean the house, and keep up on the laundry. How did you do it?”

    Pam looked me square in the eyes and said, “When I was in your situation, I had grandparents that lived nearby. They helped me clean. They helped me take care of the kids during worship. They would take the kids to give me a break. Amanda, the reason why you are struggling, is because you have too many unrealistic expectations of yourself. You need to ask for help.”

    Pam was the lead pastor’s wife. She was the same age as my parents. I was drawn to Pam because she had already lived the life that I was living. She had done campus ministry with her husband when they were younger. She knew what it was like to raise a family while dealing with the expectations that are a part of being a pastor’s wife. After 30 years of ministry, she had grown to become a woman sold out to God and confident in who she was. She was a simple and straightforward person. She didn’t try to wow people with fancy food, eloquent words, or perfect makeup. Not because she thought those things were wrong, they just weren’t who she was. It was in this simple woman, that I found one of my greatest mentors.

    While Pam and I didn’t spend a ton of time together, she was always there to talk when I needed to. And she always had words of straightforward, honest wisdom for me, whether she knew that was what she was giving me or not. She was a perfect example of an older woman, loving and caring for a younger woman, speaking God’s word into my life.

    In Titus 2:3-5, Paul tells Titus to encourage the older women of the church to help train the younger women to know what is good. To teach them how to love their children and their husbands well. How to be kind and devoted to the Lord. Throughout the Bible, we see this example of the older mentoring the younger: Moses and Joshua, Elijah and Elisha, Paul and Timothy.

    The church becomes most effective in passing on the faith when different generations are involved. A group of researchers at Effective Ministry did a literature review of studies related to intergenerational relationships within the church. They discovered that youth were less likely to leave the church when they were able to interact with adults during regular church times, AND outside of church meeting times. In other words, the faith of the next generation has a better chance of being passed on, when the older take the time to be a part of the younger’s faith development. Paul was on to something when he told Titus to encourage these types of mentoring relationships within the church. Discipling and mentoring relationships are designed to be a part of the DNA of the church.

    And we don’t have to wait until we are retired to be a mentor! Anyone at almost any age can pour into and help train those younger. My boys are a perfect example of this. 

    When my older two kids were in elementary school, there were middle school and high school-age boys in the church that took them under their wing. They helped show my boys how to act in church and how to appropriately have fun. They set an example for my boys of how to pour into those younger than they were. 

    Now that my older kids are in middle and high school, they naturally have decided to care for the younger boys in our church. They show them how to behave during church and how to follow directions. They teach them how to boldly use their gifts for the glory of God. 

    The influence of their relationship came into full view one Sunday when one of the 3rd-grade boys at church (we’ll call him Kyle) was asked to read scripture during the church service for the first time. He was very nervous and almost didn’t do it. My husband tried to encourage Kyle, but he just stood there, frozen in fear. Finally, my oldest son walked up to encourage him. He calmly pointed to the words in the Bible and told Kyle he had confidence that he could do it. Bolstered by the encouragement of his friend, Kyle began to read! And once he got started, he did a wonderful job! He did it because he knew his high school buddy believed in him. My son was passing on the courage and love God had given him, to the generation below him as he followed in the footsteps of those high schoolers who had poured into him.

    I have heard many people say, they could never be a mentor to someone else. They wouldn’t know what to do. They weren’t smart enough or didn’t know enough to pour wisdom into another person. Is this really true, or do we need to rethink what it means to be a mentor? 

    If I had asked Pam what it takes to be a mentor, she probably would have told me she didn’t know. Even though I could give lots of examples of people Pam had mentored over the years, she would not have given herself that title. She would have simply said, “I’m not your mentor. I’m your friend.” And she would be right. She gave me valuable insight and spoke God’s word to me. Not because she thought she was smarter than me, but because she saw I had a need, and she loved me. The same with my sons and the younger kids at church. They would consider themselves friends to the younger boys in our church, not their mentors.

    Really all it takes to be a mentor and to help pass on the faith to the next generation is a willingness to be a friend to someone younger. To be available to listen and share your life and lessons with them. To tell the story of how God has walked with you. 

    You don’t have to have all the answers, but through relationships, you can model what a godly life can look like. When we choose to befriend women of different ages in the church, the results can be life-changing and soul-saving. 

    As Effective Ministry uncovered, when we take the time to build godly relationships within the church, faith is handed down to the next generation, and souls that might have drifted away, find an anchor within the church family.

    Look around the groups you are a part of. Look in your church, the moms’ group you are a part of, or the book club you attend. Who do you know that you could begin to befriend that is older than you? How could you make some time to listen to their story? Who do you know who is younger than you that you could bless by befriending? By being in relationship with these people, your own faith will be shaped and you’ll pass on life-giving faith to the next generation.

    Read more