Purposeful Living

  • Choose Wisely

    Do you know that look that kids can give you? You know the look a child gives with raised eyebrows and a slight-sort-of-but-not-really smile that asks, “Can I be doing this and if not, can I get away with it anyway?” Or the look that questions, “how far is too far?” As a Children’s Ministry Director for 10+ years and an active Auntie, I have seen “the look.” Children push the boundaries day in and day out, especially as they are trying to declare their independence. However, I have also seen this look in many adults as well who are asking themselves “What can I get away with and still call myself a Christian?”

    On a daily basis, we are faced with thousands of choices and most of the choices we make in life are not really a matter between good and bad, but rather it’s about looking at what’s best for you and/or what will be most beneficial to others.

    You say, ’I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is good for you. You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is beneficial”.

    1 Corinthians 10:23

    God doesn’t give us a nice little list of rules to tell us what all the answers to every situation should be and where all the boundaries are, rather He wants us to look at how our decisions and our habits are helping us to grow in our walk with Him and helping us become a better person.

    At the beginning of the pandemic, my job shifted like a lot of other people to working from home. The restaurants were closed, so I began the routine of making my own lunches. I would whip something up and sit down at my kitchen island, which has a straight view of the TV in my living room.

    One day, I found myself turning on the TV to watch an episode of a show like Virgin River or Sweet Magnolias on Netflix before I went back to my workday. Well, as most people who have watched shows on Netflix know, once that episode is done it quickly transitions into the next episode. Pretty soon I was watching two episodes. Then I caught myself trying to multitask and do my work with the TV on in the background so I could “watch” some more episodes because I was beginning to be connected to the lives of these characters. Then one day it dawned on me (pun intended): “This does not make me a better person or coworker. It has no redeeming value and it is keeping me from doing things that could add value to my life or other people’s lives.”

    It wasn’t that this behavior was necessarily evil or even bad, but the question is not “is there anything wrong with it?” or “how many episodes are too many?” The question is: “is this helping me or hindering me?” and “will this help me become more like Jesus?” God has given us freedom and free will but it is our choice how we use this gift. We have the freedom to choose how we invest our time, who we hang around, what we eat, what we do, etc., but not everything we may choose is beneficial for us. We can say whatever we want to our frustrating neighbor, but is what we are saying beneficial? Does it lead that person closer or further from God?

    God has the ultimate perspective of where our free will can take us–good or bad. His character is to lead us toward the very best He has for us. Like a father who keeps his toddler from having cake for breakfast or from running out in the road. He loves us and has only our best interest at heart.

    So dear friend, I would challenge you to take some time to spend with God in prayer and ask Him to reveal to you anything you do or habits you have that may not be God’s best for you. As He reveals those things to you, ask Him to show you what you can replace those things with that will help you grow as a Christ follower. As you begin to choose God’s best for you, your actions and habits will impact other people to grow in their relationship with Jesus as well! Let’s be intentional in seeking God’s best life for us and experience the true freedom we have in Christ.

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  • Overcome Your Overwhelm

    Truth time. I have felt overwhelmed lately (and by lately, I mean for over a year now). It’s the kind of overwhelm that makes me want to sprawl out on my living room couch, swaddle myself under my plush blanket and just binge out on the latest Netflix show because I don’t have enough energy to give.

    It’s the kind of overwhelm that brings tears to my eyes when a close friend texts me “how are you doing?” because I feel like such a failure in multiple areas of my life right now. It’s the kind of overwhelm where I simply can’t keep up, so I don’t even start. The kind where I am beating myself up with the “shoulds”- like I should get more done every day, I should eat healthier at each meal, I should have a perfectly picked-up house, I should behave perfectly, I should be better at spending time with God and my family, taking care of myself and following up with friends. Maybe you feel the same? If you do, then welcome to the Overwhelm Club. You my dear are not alone.

    We all feel overwhelmed at times, but when that overwhelm becomes a regular part of our daily life it can begin to steal our joy, destroy our health and kill our dreams. I don’t know about you, but my overwhelmed feelings were not just happening during my busiest weeks and then going away when things calmed down a bit. I was constantly feeling overwhelmed. It had become a way of living for me. Even when I set boundaries, took days of rest, and did everything I knew how to do to de-stress, I still felt incompetent, inadequate and overloaded.

    Then a few weeks ago, I read John 14:27 (NIV) which says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

    As I read that verse, it dawned on me (no pun intended) that I had swapped the word “peace” for “perfection.” Even though I don’t try to chase it because I’ve realized the absurdity of it, striving for perfection is something I continually have to guard my heart against.

    You see I am a good auntie, sister, daughter, and girlfriend, but I’m not a perfect one. I am a good employee, business owner, writer, coach, and leader, but I’m not a perfect one. I am a good breakfast maker (outside of that you don’t really want me to cook you a meal) and a good housekeeper, but I’m not a perfect one. We were given the gift of peace, not perfection. And so once again I am reminding myself and maybe you too, that overwhelm is not a symptom, but rather a signal that we are out of alignment with who God created us to be because we are focused on perfection, not on His peace.

    So what steps can we take to reduce that feeling of being overwhelmed and instead experience peace? The answer doesn’t lie in just slowing down, finding a new job or making some key adjustments in your schedule, while some of those options may be needed, they are not the ultimate solution. The true root of overwhelm exists in our hearts and minds, not our busy lives. Therefore, these five steps I am going to share with you focus on transforming our lives from the inside out in order to overcome our overwhelm.

    Step 1 – Remember
    Remember that God is in control, that He will take care of you and that you need to turn to Him first, not last, when feeling overwhelmed. The Psalmist reminds us in Psalm 61:2 (NLT) that when we cry for help when our hearts are overwhelmed, God will lead us to the “towering rock of safety”.

    Step 2- Recognize
    What do you tell yourself when you feel overwhelmed? What lies do you tell yourself? “Suck it up.” “Just keep going.” “It could be worse.” “I should be more on top of things.” “There is something wrong with me.” In our efforts to rally, we can end up dismissing and invalidating our own feelings and buying into a lie. If you find yourself overwhelmed often, you need to recognize the lies, rather than ignoring your feelings and powering through.

    Step 3 – Reset
    Reset your schedule and your thinking. Maybe you feel the pressure of saying yes to everyone and everything, but that isn’t God’s plan. Jesus didn’t say yes to everyone, because Jesus knew His purpose. So step back and look at your schedule with God as your tour guide to help you filter out tasks that may not be bad in and of themselves, but are ultimately not helping you live out your purpose.

    And when it comes to resetting your thinking, grab your journal or a piece of paper and make a list of the things that are causing you to feel overwhelmed. Next, write out this sentence for each issue listed and fill in the blank to allow your focus to shift to the ways that God is addressing the issue. “I feel overwhelmed by _________________. Thank you God for reminding me that you have already conquered, covered, defeated and promised me victory in this area of my life. I choose to be an overcomer. I choose to be overwhelmed by you.”

    Step 4- Reflect
    I am encouraged by the words of Paul in Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT). “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand”. Did you catch that? God’s peace is a byproduct of prayer. So, in order to restore alignment and overcome the overwhelm we need to spend time in prayer and reflection with God. Take time to share your heart with God and then also ask questions like, “is this a me expectation or a God expectation?” and “How am I trying to control the situation, instead of letting God take control of it?”

    Step 5 – Receive
    God’s peace is not something we have to earn, but rather it is something to be received. So relax, be calm, take a deep breath through your nose as you think the words “Jesus I receive your peace” and then as you exhale think “and I give you my overwhelm.” Repeat this several times until you begin to relax your muscles and thoughts. Don’t reject the gift of peace through worry, complaining, or doubt, rather open your heart and receive what God freely wants to give to you.

    Jesus had more cause to feel overwhelmed and burdened than any of us. Yet, he did not curl up into a ball and veg out. He did not ask God for a “better” job. He did not wish for a different life. Rather, He allowed God to empower Him and help Him overcome persecution, betrayal and even death. He remembered who God was. He recognized the lies the enemy told Him in the wilderness. He reset His mind to God’s truths and made sure to put margin in His schedule to spend time reflecting and praying. And He received the peace and hope that God promises each of us. As a result, He met each and every challenge with a relaxed and calm attitude because He knew that overwhelm was inevitable, but that through God He would overcome! And you can too!

    May you rest in His love and feel the peace which surpasses all understanding. May you cast all your anxieties on Him and may He guide you every step as you walk the path of peace and overcome your overwhelm!

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  • Intentional Living Through Curiosity

    Imagine waking up to a life that energizes you in every possible way. Imagine carefully crafting every aspect of your life (relationships, work, rituals, health) in a way that is uniquely designed to make you feel more alive, more joyful, and more fulfilled. Maybe you are thinking to yourself right now, that it seems like a pie in the sky dream because for you, life just isn’t working. Most days you feel like life is happening to you, not for you. You feel disempowered, overwhelmed, and stuck. How could you possibly wake up energized in this chaos we are experiencing?

    A lot of times when we are feeling this way, it is because we have forgotten to live intentionally, the way God designed.

    Living intentionally doesn’t just happen by accident, rather it is about being curious, making conscious choices and taking deliberate actions every day to bring about the outcomes and feelings you desire in your life.

    Intentional living means to live by design not by default. To live by design means that you no longer live on auto-pilot. You are learning to let go of the belief that your life is the sum of your circumstances. Intentional living is about co-creating your life with the Creator of the Universe (God) to make your highest contribution to the world.

    Intentional living starts with curiosity. Christina Crook, Author and TEDx speaker once said, “curiosity is a crucial condition for feeling fulfilled and alive and our need to nourish our capacity for wonder grows as we age.”

    In the Bible, we see first-century crowds being curious to hear Jesus teach and that interest, for many, led to hope, healing and a purposeful life. Jesus also encouraged the people He encountered to stop and reflect on what they really were truly desiring and seeking in life and from Him. For example, when Jesus encountered the blind man by the Jericho road, he asked the man “what do you want me to do for you?” (Luke 18:41, NIV) When is the last time you paused and got curious about what an intentional life really looks like for you? If Jesus asked you what you wanted from Him would you know how to answer that question?

    Designing your life together with God begins with nurturing a holy curiosity about the Lord and His plans and promises for you. Do you take time to learn more about God or do you feel you’ve gotten so familiar with passages over the years that you can just carve your own path without checking in with God? Curiosity can be the invitation to dig deeper and ask good questions in order to see things through fresh eyes.

    The next step to living an intentional life is to set your intentions. For many years, I confess I did this without God’s input. I would ask questions like: What is my life for? What do I want to achieve? And then write down my dreams and desires and go after them. Unfortunately, this practice was all about imposing my own will and not aligning myself with God’s will. When we are operating under our own will and motivations, our identity becomes cemented in the things we do, rather than in the One who called us in the first place. Our perspective is limited to our own imagination instead of leaning into the One who can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine.

    Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that’”.

    James 4:13-15 (NIV)

    Notice that this is not about making plans apart from God, but about being curious about who God wants you to be and what God wants you to do.

    One useful exercise is to ask the questions, “Who does God want me to be in regard to my (spirituality, health, mental wellbeing, work, restoration, etc.)? How will I commit to living that out in my daily life? Here are a few examples:

    • God calls me to be content (1 Timothy 6:6-8) therefore I am committed to living abundantly with fewer things so that I can spend more time with the people I love and less time managing the things I have and/or worrying about the things I don’t have.
    • God calls me to honor my body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) therefore I am committed to being strong and healthy so that I can have energy at the end of the day to give my best self to my family.

    Once you’ve set your intentions the third step is to align your daily actions. For example, if you’re committed to being strong and healthy, ask yourself: “what broad goals will help me achieve these intentions?” For instance, you could have some broad goals like eat healthier or be more physically active. From there, ask yourself “what day-to-day actions can I take that will add up to my desired result over time?” You may want to set daily goals like eat 4 cups of vegetables per day or walk 3 miles every day.

    Know that intentional living is a lot like taking a cross-country road trip. Along your journey, you’ll need to pull over and refuel. You’ll need to stop, put gas in your car, grab a bite to eat and stretch your legs – not once, but multiple times. On your way to living your best life, you need to do the same, which is why the final step in intentional living is to reflect, re-evaluate and revise your plans based on these questions.

    • Is this what God wants for my life?
    • How’s my progress in regards to the intentions I set?
    • What has God been able to accomplish so far in me and through me?
    • What have been some of the most powerful learning moments so far?

    As you take time to reflect, don’t forget to pause and pray and listen to what God wants to say. Then make a conscious choice to either continue pursuing your goals as is or make revisions to your plan as needed. An intentional life isn’t about perfection, but progress. It’s about being curious and having the courage to step into the purpose that God has called you to. Living an intentional life empowers you to start:

    • Becoming a woman who is hungry for God and His word.
    • Creating possibilities for your life that energize you and glorify God in the process.
    • Living each day on purpose and not just coast through your life.
    • Courageously taking leaps of faith and not just wait for better timing or more signs.
    • Confidently choosing, even if imperfectly, actions that add to your life, not take away from it.

    Wherever God may lead you, know that He desires for you to live intentionally and to live with Him, so that you may experience life to the fullest.

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  • This is the year!

    “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. – Psalm 143:8

    Okay, so we are a few weeks into the new year. If you are like me, you have set some new goals for yourself and started the new year super excited to achieve them. Maybe you’ve even been chanting, “This is the year!”

    One of the most important goals we can set for ourselves is one that will help us grow in our faith and relationship with God. I have found that when I put my faith first, my other goals in life tend to fall into place as well. But far too often, I have limited myself with an “I can’t” mentality that has kept me from reaching for the bold goals in my life.

    One of those goals is to conquer early mornings! You see, I am not naturally a morning person. My bed is warm and cozy and my eye lids would rather not open until the sun is up (which this time of year, is fairly late!). But for years now, I have had a desire to get up before my family and have some time in the early morning to spend with the Lord. I can picture it now: the house is quiet and peaceful, I’m sitting in my comfy chair by the fireplace, curled up in my fuzzy blanket, sipping on my chai tea while I’m spending time with my Lord.

    And, while, yes, over the years I have still found a way to make time with God happen, I have always looked longingly toward that early morning picture. It just seemed out of reach, until I realized that the main thing that has gotten in the way of me achieving this goal has been the “I cant’s”. The “I can’t get up that early because I’m just not a morning person.” Or the “I can’t function that early so even trying would be unproductive.”

    I am determined this year to stop limiting myself with the “I cant’s” and have the courage to say, “with God’s help, I can!” While I know it will be hard at first, with possibly many difficult, half-awake mornings, I believe that I can get to the other side and reach my goal of that vision I have for my mornings. I know that if I can persevere through the hard stuff at the beginning, I will get to the place where it isn’t so hard and I will reap the fruit of my persistence in seeking the Lord.

    While early mornings might not be your goal, what is one goal you can set that will help you grow in your faith and relationship with God this year?

    Whether it is to have time with God each day (even if it is only 15 min), to be in God’s Word, to pray more often, go to church consistently or finally check out that small group bible study, God will bless your efforts. Any goal that draws you closer to God is a good goal!

    Is there a faith step that you have not taken because of the “I cant’s? If you are willing to trust God and give Him that “I can’t”, He will turn it into something beautiful. He will strengthen you to do what you didn’t think was possible and grow your faith in the process.

    I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

    Philippians 4:13

    It is my hope that by the end of this year, you will be able to look back and see growth in your faith and a list of ways you have been stretched, trusted in God and experienced Him more fully.

    May you find joy in seeking the Lord this year!

    P.S. If you have a faith goal that you would like us to pray about for you, please email us or comment below and we would love to be praying and encouraging you in your walk of faith!

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  • Good Things on God’s Horizon

    Each new year brings a sense of a fresh start–an opportunity to hit the “reset button”. This year, more than any other year, we definitely want to move past 2020 into the hopefulness of a new year.

    Whether you are a resolution maker or not, the new year is an opportunity to leave behind the things of the past, whether bad habits or simply bad memories, and look forward to new possibilities.

    This year especially, I am drawn to these verses in Isaiah 43:16, 18-21:

    This is what the Lord says—he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters…“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland..to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise.”

    I love these verses because they are a reminder to me that God is asking me to no longer focus on what was, but keep my eyes ahead on what He is about to do. The same God who parted the sea so His people could find a way through, is now asking us to leave behind those things that are not of Him and not dwell on what has been. Instead He invites us to focus ahead on what He has prepared for us.

    It is so easy for the trauma of this past year to stick with us like a lead weight. We want to move ahead but we are still living in the aftershock of all the challenges of 2020. It was a difficult year and the effects of it continue to linger in our lives, but God is asking us to turn our focus toward Him–toward His presence now and to where He plans to take us in the coming year.

    Because when we dwell on the past, we just might miss something new He is doing in us or around us. We can lose sight of where God is taking us and the wonderful things ahead. When we shift our perspective from “what was” to “what is”, we can more clearly see the new things He has before us.

    If you are feeling like you are coming out of the wilderness of last year, take heart, He is making a way through that wilderness and bringing His living water to the wasteland. His hope springs up before us! We are His chosen people and He is making us new each day. We are His beloved! He delights in making all things new and providing for His people.

    As we go into this new year, my prayer is that we can have eyes that see all that God is doing around us; that we will see His wondrous works springing up before us. We have a new start in Jesus. He is our hope and our future!

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  • Finding the Goodness of God

    The beginning of a new year is one of my favorite times of the year (although, I’ll admit I have several!). The new year is this clean slate, this sense that we can start anew and fresh. Every January 1st, I feel this hopeful anticipation of what the new year might bring. I usually sit down and create a list of goals and hopes for the coming year, as well as look back at what I have accomplished and experienced in the past year.

    I’m sure when we all started this year, we had high hopes for what 2020 would bring. I know looking back on my list of goals for the year, more than half of them weren’t even possible because of the pandemic. It would be so easy to look back over the year and write it off as one big loss and a waste of a year–so many missed opportunities to be with friends and loved ones, so many missed events, so many unrealized hopes and expectations.

    But as I look back upon this past year, what stands out to me isn’t the things I missed out on (which like you, was plenty), but rather the good things that I hadn’t expected. Just like the pandemic, these things weren’t even on my radar.

    For me, 2020 was a year of seeing God work impossible dreams and make them reality. God brought to life a long-time dream of starting an area-wide women’s conference that could refresh and revive women as they heard from Godly speakers who brought God’s word. This became a reality just a short three weeks before the pandemic hit. We had originally wanted to do the conference in the spring but God, in His infinite wisdom, prompted us to hold it in February.

    Another thing I didn’t see coming in 2020 was the miracle of a new house! My husband and I have wanted to buy our own home for a very long time but because of circumstances, we have been unable to for most of our marriage. Our family (and ministries) have grown and we needed a bigger space but we couldn’t see a way to make that happen. Out of the blue, our landlord decided that she wanted to sell the house we were living in and we were thrown into a situation where we had to find somewhere to live. God turned what started as a stressful situation into one of the best blessings we have ever received—making it possible for us to purchase a new home that fits us perfectly.

    These are just a couple of the many ways God has brought about good in the midst of a difficult year in my life, but I have heard story after story about the ways God has worked and brought about good things in the lives of others.

    This was the year that one of my best friends finally found and married the love of her life after twenty years of waiting. This was the year that our church was able to transform our worship center into a food pantry for those in need during the pandemic and become the hands and feet of Jesus, being good news to those in our community. This is the year that my sister-in-law found out she was pregnant after years of trying and fighting infertility. This is the year that my daughter’s friend decided to give her life to Jesus. This is the year that we connected with family and friends, so much more than in the past because the crisis brought us together and helped us see what was truly important.

    This year tried so hard to force us into despair, but God gave us the beauty of His hope instead. When we choose to see what’s possible with God, we realize that the goodness of God has been there all along. He has never left our side and will continue to work for our good, no matter what circumstances we face in this life.

    And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

    Romans 8:28 (NLT)

    This year definitely tested our faith and our perseverance, but if we look back I know we can see God’s fingerprints all over this year and in each of our lives. The trials we faced have proven only to strengthen our faith and to make us stronger in the Lord.

    For so many people, this year brought not merely disappointment and changed plans, but crushing heartache and loss. If your wounds are still fresh, it may take you a while to see God’s goodness and that’s okay. Right now, know that God is sitting with you in your grief, holding you near and helping you to stand, even if in your sorrow He seems far away. God’s goodness may look like a friend or family member bringing you a meal or flowers or a text asking how you are doing. As God has done so much of this year, He will continue to work through the people around you to sustain you and bring you comfort and hope. It may not be tomorrow, but there will come a point when you will be able to look back and see His tender hand of mercy carrying you through your darkest moments.

    No matter what you have faced in 2020, as you look back at this past year and look ahead to the next, take some time to look for the good–there is always goodness to be found. Try and see how God has been at work bringing about good things because “every good gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17 (NIV)

    As surely as God was present and active in 2020, He goes before us now into the New Year, working powerfully on our behalf, shaping us each day to be more like Him so we can be a light to the world around us. Keep a lookout…there is goodness to be found.

    Happy New Year!

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  • Gratitude During the Holidays

    I came across an interesting article recently that stated, “you have permission to not be thankful this Thanksgiving.” The author went on to share how he was going to choose a humbug mindset this holiday because 2020 has been a rollercoaster of emotions and challenges. To be honest, I get it, this holiday season is filled with tough choices and changes for families, but gratitude and thankfulness are to be expressed not just when things are going smoothly. Rather they are an attitude to be displayed both in the trials and blessings of life.

    Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (ESV) I italicized the word “in” for a reason, because I think we often replace it with the word “for” which changes how we see the practice of gratitude. God isn’t asking you to be grateful for your family not being able to gather this Thanksgiving. He is not asking you to be grateful for the pandemic that has caused loss, hardships and hurts. God is asking us to find the things to be grateful for in these challenging times. I can be grateful for technology like Zoom that has allowed me to stay connected to loved ones. I can be grateful to have a job that allows me to work remotely. I can be grateful because of the daily walks I get to take with my housemate. I can be grateful for an amazing gluten-free pizza that gets delivered to my house way more often than I care to admit. I can be grateful that even though my travel plans have changed throughout the year, I have found different ways to refuel the wanderer in me. I can be grateful that I got to still do my digital detox weekend at the coast which helped to renew my spirit. I can be grateful for all the amazing people in my life who are still here, even if we are socially distanced or having to connect differently. 

    Practicing gratitude isn’t about forced positivity and it doesn’t mean that you ignore all the challenges you are facing. You most certainly can take time to grieve, but my prayer for you is that you don’t stay stuck there. God can empower you to be an overcomer, someone who is resilient and can find the good even in the hard times. Every time I visit my colleagues and the students and families who are part of the Africa New Life community in Rwanda, I am reminded that gratitude can be found whether we have plenty or little.  For many Rwandans they are not just being challenged by the pandemic, but they have been dealing with poverty and loss from a genocide that took place in their nation over twenty-five years ago. And yet they find ways daily to rejoice and to share their joy and hope with those who come to visit, or through the letters our students send to sponsors here in the United States. That gratitude is not based on their circumstances, but based on their faith that God’s promises are true even if we can’t see the evidence of that in our lives currently.

    When we talk about practicing gratitude, a lot of people immediately think of doing a gratitude journal, which I absolutely love and highly recommend doing, but here are some other ways to not only think about what you are grateful for, but to express your gratitude this holiday season. 

    1. Make a gratitude jar: Find a mason jar as big or small as you want. Then take some construction paper and cut it into slips of paper. Put a marker or pen and the pieces of paper next to the gratitude jar then each day leading up to the holidays pause every time you walk by the jar and jot down something you are grateful for and fold the slip of paper and place it in the jar. On whichever holiday you choose, Thanksgiving or Christmas, plan “gratitude breaks” where you go to the jar and pull out a slip of paper and read out loud what you have to be grateful for.  
    2. Send gratitude cards: If you are sad about not getting to see a family member or friend this holiday season, create a gratitude card for that person and send it to them for a sweet surprise in the mail. Inside the card you could write something as simple as “I am thinking of you.” Or you could write a personalized note filling in the blank, “Because of you….” and share what they have done in your life that you are grateful for. 
    3. Make “thank” calls instead of prank calls: Sit down on the days leading up to the holidays and make a list of people who have done something nice for you lately or in the past. Then set aside time on or around the holiday to call and say thanks. 
    4. Send virtual care packages: You might not be able to get together in person, but you can have fun and send a bunch of photos or silly video clips that will spark a smile and let them know that you are grateful for them this holiday season. 
    5. Create gratitude rocks: My niece and I did this a few years back where we painted rocks with messages that inspire gratitude. Then you can take a walk and set the rocks in special places to surprise other walkers/hikers. 

    This holiday season, what if you focused less on who you are not with, and what you are not doing and more about who you are with and what you are doing? What if you focused on what you have, rather than what you may be missing out on? What thanks can you give in the middle of our hard circumstances? Gratitude amplifies positive emotions and increases your resilience in facing future challenges. Yes, this pandemic holiday season may have its challenges, but I still believe we can put the “thanks” in Thanksgiving and choose to give ourselves permission to create a gratitude habit that shines God’s light and hope even during the dark times. Who knows? Your thankful attitude may just be what someone else is thanking God for this year. 

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  • Guiding Light

    Have you ever stood in complete darkness? Not just figuratively, but literally in the absence of light. Let me tell you, it is an eye-opening experience! <Pun intended>

    My husband and I are adventurous and love to explore new places. When we were first married, we explored the Ape Caves in Washington, an underground lava tube about a mile long. We came prepared, making sure we had a stock of flashlights and good shoes. What I wasn’t prepared for was how dark darkness can be when no light can be found. I grew up as a kid who was always scared of the dark, but I had never experienced true darkness up until that point.

    Just for fun, we stopped in the middle of the cave and turned off our flashlights. I was now surrounded by complete and utter darkness. My eyes strained to find some source of light, but I was left not able to see a single thing! Even though my husband was only inches away from me, I couldn’t see him. I will never forget how overwhelming true darkness was–and how it instilled in me a bit of panic.

    While it felt like I was lost in the darkness, completely alone, I still had the hope of my light source–my trusty flashlight! Once we turned our lights back on, I could see that my husband had still been right next to me all along. We could shine the light forward and see what was ahead of us and shine it around so we didn’t stumble on the rocks below our feet. We quickly realized that we were completely dependent on our flashlights to get us out of this cave. Without the lights we carried, we would be forever lost in this cave.

    Just like the darkness in this cave, in life sometimes, we can find ourselves in the dark without light to illuminate our path. Without light, we are vulnerable to stumbling blocks in our path. We need light to help us see the way through the dark and difficult situations we face. Although the light may only reveal the next step in front of us, we need to know we are on the right path.

    The only way to escape the darkness in life and in our hearts is to turn to Jesus. He came to the world and to the people whom He created and knew well, as the light that shines into hearts and illuminates the way to life. Not just any life, but life as God originally intended: full of love, hope and joy.

    The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”

    John 1:4-5 NLT

    Jesus is the light that darkness cannot overcome, no matter how dark a cave we find ourselves in, Jesus will get us through. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6 NLT). He is the only way to true life.

    If we allow the light of Jesus to illuminate our path, we can continue to put one foot in front of the other, confident that even if we cannot see Him, He is there, showing us the way.

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  • Reversing Invisibility

    Not long after I moved back to my hometown, I decided to dive right into church participation by volunteering at a women’s event. I was so excited to reconnect with old friends and catch up with everyone. I imagined taking trips down memory lane and catching up on current life seasons.

    To be honest, I was also anticipating the idea that I had been missed–that my church peers from high school and college would be just as thrilled to see me as I would be to see them. I arrived a bit early to help set up and stand at my greeting post, with a prepared smile and hopeful aspirations, but as each woman entered the building, I was struck with the reality that I did not know these ladies. I did not go to youth group with any of them. They weren’t present at any of my college mission trips or volunteer projects. No, these women were new to me and I was new to them. The friends I thought I would reconnect with had also moved away: some for marriage or work or school. I was the stranger and I felt invisible. It wasn’t the first time I felt out of place in a familiar space. I wonder if you’ve ever experienced similar atmospheres at work or at family functions or even at church.

    Sometimes, we each can find ourselves in places where we feel out of place. It’s hard to navigate unfamiliar territories while simultaneously dealing with secret uncertainties in our thoughts and feelings. But this is a normal occurrence from time to time. No matter how secure you are, confidence prefers to be comfortable. When we find ourselves in a situation that is new and uncomfortable, our tendency may be to withdraw and not take the risk to reach out.

    As I took a seat at a table that was already occupied by women who seemed to be close friends, I flashed a shy smile and sat in silence. The group of women were kind, but I wasn’t sure if I would fit in with them and anxious thoughts began to cloud my mind. What if I’m older or younger than they are? What if they are all single? What if none of them have children? Do we have anything in common? Maybe one of them will just say something to me so that I won’t have to risk saying something they can’t relate to.

    As I felt myself get worked up over a scenario that wasn’t reality, I realized I had a choice to make: I could sit there and hope to be noticed, I could engage myself in something else that wouldn’t require me to take a risk to be vulnerable, or I could use maturity that comes from believing that Jesus makes me valuable and that I had valuable things to contribute at the table.

    And though it is a vulnerable thing to extend ourselves when we feel out of our comfort zone, that is the call of spreading the love of Jesus – not just amongst our comfortable places, spaces and faces, but to whomever the Lord puts in our path.

    Though our human nature tends to size people up, it’s more productive to lovingly extend who we are rather than assume who others are or aren’t. Celebration- not comparisons- are the key to reversing invisibility. We cannot celebrate others if we choose to withdraw from them. Each of us can be at fault for holding ourselves back out of intimidation or fear, but concealing who we are isn’t honest and it will hold us back from running on mission to share the love of Jesus.

    Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act”

    Proverbs 3:27

    Sometimes, we are hesitant to extend ourselves even when the opportunity is made obvious. The vulnerability it requires can somehow seem to cost more to lose than to gain. Sometimes, reaching out is scary because we don’t know if the invitation is mutual, but I am honestly learning that once we set our sails open to the truth that God’s love and value over us is charting our course, the winds of uncertainty don’t seem so scary.

    I wish I could say that I mustered up the courage to complement one of the girls at the table or to ask about their work day or their family or what college they went to, or to simply complement them in order to open up the opportunity to engage, but I didn’t.

    I allowed the confidence of their conversation to make me feel doubtful. But, God is good, isn’t He? Even when we cower in doubt, His Holy Spirit has a way of lining up our lives through situations He has orchestrated.

    Though I was hesitant, my friend Jetta was not. She joined the table, plopped down right beside me, and began to chat away as if I had been in her life for years and years. It was her willingness to extend herself that helped connect me to so many other sweet ladies who also felt uncertain about extending themselves. It only takes one person who is willing to reach out in the confidence of Christ and in mission to be loving and vulnerable. I’m so glad Jetta was that friend for me and since then, I have grown in becoming that friend for others: that friend who doesn’t see a stranger, but rather sees a sister.

    I want to encourage us all to push past the doubt that uncertainty tries to cloud around our opportunities to be loving, vulnerable and engaging. If you have a shy personality the way I do, understand that when you withhold yourself, you are withholding the goodness of God that His love has placed within you. We may not all be comfortable standing on a stage or telling public jokes or being the center of attention, but that’s not what extending ourselves is about. It’s not about attention to ourselves, it’s about extending the love of Jesus that the Holy Spirit will use to give glory to Himself and edification to His church.

    If there is an upcoming opportunity where you may be in contact with someone you don’t know very well, I hope you will consider extending yourself in Christ’s love. You have valuable things to share with others, but they’ll never benefit if you keep yourself to yourself!

    Trust the Lord as He aligns your life with other precious sisters in Christ. Take every opportunity to use your time, your gifts, and your life to share Jesus with those He’s placed around you (Ephesians 5:16)!

    I’m cheering you on!

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  • 4 Ways To Have Joy in a Year of Uncertainty

    Let’s be real, my sisters. Life can be overwhelming and uncertain, but this year especially has felt extra turbulent. The struggles are real. Cancelled plans, grief for moments and jobs lost, fear of what’s to come next, etc.

    It’s easy to have joy when life is sailing along smoothly on calm seas, but when the waves begin to roar, our peace and joy seem to go overboard. Take a moment to picture a raging storm; see the ominous clouds swirling up above, hear the booming thunder that reverberates to your core and imagine you feel the darts of water from the crashing waves on your face. Got the storm in your mind? Your life may feel like that storm right now and that your joy is gone, but do you know what is happening a hundred feet below the storm in the ocean? All is perfectly quiet and peaceful. No sound, no storm, just stillness.

    The truth is that our joy is not lost at sea, rather it’s within us. It’s hidden in the depths of our souls, far beneath the surface, unable to feel the changing winds of uncertainty. One of my favorite quotes is by Sam Storms, who said “joy is not the absence of suffering but the presence of God.” It is in God’s presence that we find contentment and peace that surpasses any of the outward circumstances we are facing.

    When fears, anxieties and troubles arise in life, we must learn to lean into the presence of God to help us cultivate joy. Over the years, I have found a few ways that have helped me cultivate joy through faith in the midst of the fear and uncertainty:

    1. Declare God’s promises, not your problems. When you talk with your friends and family are you talking more about your problems or God’s promises? The Scriptures encourage us to speak life not death. That doesn’t mean you can’t share your problems, but with it declare God’s promise. For example, “I may not know what to do in this time of uncertainty, but God tells me that He will never leave me and that He will make His path known to me.” Do you see how that adds hope to your situation? And then when we are hopeful we become more joyful. I work with my coaching clients quite frequently to help them create their Affirmation GPS (God Positioning System) Declarations that allows them to discover the truths that they need to use to guide them in the season they are experiencing and refuel their joy. You can do this too. Simply select a piece of scripture that you want to declare as God’s promise to you. For instance, “I AM blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ” (Ephesians 1:3, NIV). Then write this down on a post-it note and display it in spots where you will see it and declare it over yourself.

    2. Lean on God, not on your plan. I confess that I am a recovering control freak. So as long as I could plan ahead, it gave me a sense of security even if things didn’t always go my way. However, when the pandemic hit, I couldn’t even plan a few days out because things were shifting so fast. It made me realize how much I was leaning on my plans and not God as a source of peace and joy. Proverbs 16:9 says, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps” (NLT). As we go through times of uncertainty we need to step back, release control and simply ask God, “what’s the one thing I need to focus on next?” And then when that is done, ask the question again. Pretty soon what you will find is that you are leaning on God, your joy is being renewed and He is leading you through this time of uncertainty.

    3. Look at the donut, not the hole. Okay so nowhere in the Bible does it talk about donuts, but it does talk about gratitude and thanksgiving. In times of uncertainty it is easy to focus on everything that is missing, everything that is going wrong and everything that is not what we planned. However, what Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 is to “give thanks in all circumstances” (NIV). The italicized word is my emphasis, because I want you to realize that God isn’t telling us we have to give thanks FOR all things but IN all things. When you look at a donut do you see the hole or the actual donut? When you look at the donut, you are essentially looking at all that you can be grateful for IN this situation. I don’t have to be grateful for the pandemic, but I can be grateful because I had people who checked in on me during the pandemic. I can be grateful that my job allowed me to easily transition to shelter in place and stay safe. Today, don’t look at the hole (what’s missing), look at the donut (what do you have). Remember “joy isn’t the root of gratitude; gratitude is the root of joy,” which is why the first note in my 90 Days of Delight journal/devotional is all about gratitude because it is the key to having joy no matter what circumstances you are going through.

    4. Work while you wait in the uncertainty. When I am in an uncertain situation, I want it to change NOW, especially when I think God has something greater for me. But God wants us to wait expectantly, which means not sitting on the couch whining, but rather working on something that will help you move forward. A great example of working while waiting is the story of Ruth. She moved to a foreign country with her mother-in-law hoping that God would provide for them. Instead of sitting around waiting for her circumstances to change, she took an opportunity to work in a stranger’s field. Little did she know that that stranger would become her husband and she would go from poverty to wealth in an instant. The work she was doing during this time of uncertainty might have seemed trivial in the moment, but it led her right into the arms of her promise. Working isn’t just about a vocation it could be starting a new hobby, reading a book, helping a friend, all while you are waiting for God to bring you out of the uncertainty. When we shift our perspective and wait expectantly, we can allow joy to fill our days rather than fear. Like Ruth, it may lead you into a season of clarity and promise.

    Even when you are facing uncertain situations, God’s presence and truth can be your anchor and source of joy. You don’t have to worry because He is with you. You may not know what’s to come or what your next move is, but He does. It may feel like a storm right now, but remember if you go to God you will find a deep joy that calms the seas and gives you a peace that passes all understanding.

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