Month: May 2026

  • Heart Stuff, Identity in Christ

    Not Yet a Mother, Always His Child

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    One by one, the women around me rose, their smiles lighting the sanctuary as the ushers handed each a pink carnation. I stayed glued to my seat, wishing the floor would open and swallow me. Our pastor had just called the moms in the congregation to stand for their annual Mother’s Day recognition. They deserved the honor, but I didn’t. It’s not that I was looking for applause. What I really wanted—what I desperately prayed for, year after agonizing year—was a baby.

    Infertility wrecked my plans for how my life would unfold. Everything was going beautifully when I went to college, met a cute guy, and got married. Then my husband and I started trying to conceive. Months passed, and we never saw a positive pregnancy test. Each failed cycle brought crushing disappointment and increasing anxiety. We tried different medical treatments, including a round of IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization). Nothing worked. Meanwhile, several friends announced their first, then second baby on the way. I watched, helpless, as their arms filled joyfully and mine remained empty.

    Facing such a huge disruption to my life plans threw me into an identity crisis. With motherhood delayed indefinitely, I struggled to trust God’s purposes. My prayers turned feisty as I begged for answers. “Lord, why did you give me this calling if you aren’t fulfilling it?” Underneath my cries burned a question too scary to ask out loud. “If I’m not a mom, who am I?”

    Maybe you can relate to my ache for a child. You understand the roller coaster of getting your hopes up every month only to have a solitary line send you crashing into grief. You may have lived through the devastation of hearing your doctor say, “There’s no heartbeat,” or you delivered a beloved son or daughter born still. So many of us women know these sorrows firsthand.

    If you’ve wept over the pains of trying to bring a child into the world, I’m so sorry. I see you and I know how hard it is. Please know that you’re not alone.You might not feel it now, but God cares for you. He draws the brokenhearted close to himself, providing comfort through his Spirit. Like Hannah, you can pour out your soul to the Lord (1 Samuel 1:15). He is always listening, always compassionate, and always makes good on his promise to be a refuge for the weary.

    God’s Word validates our grief through the stories of Hannah, Sarah, Elizabeth, and several other women who longed for a baby. Scripture also says that hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12) and that children are a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). How reassuring to know that God sees our struggles and invites us to bring our desire for a child to him.

    Motherhood can give women joy and purpose as we reflect God’s nurturing heart. But ultimately, motherhood doesn’t define our identity. It can’t. The core of our identity needs a surer base than anything this world can offer.

    Who we are can only be defined by who made us. Our Creator breathed life into our lungs because he wanted people to love. He could have designed a less complicated world, leaving the stars and rocks to sing his praises. Instead, God chose to make humans who are forgetful and fall short because of sin, yet who receive over-the-top grace so we can showcase his glory.

    This is why God created you—to be his child, freed from sin’s grip through his Son, renewed for holy living by his Spirit. As women, we are first and foremost daughters before any other role or relationship. We exist to glorify our Father.

    Having a baby is a gift, but a baby doesn’t complete us. God made us to be fulfilled in him. The Psalmists echo the reminder, “the Lord is my portion,” meaning he is our inheritance or reward. No other relationship truly satisfies us. We have all the joy, peace, and belonging we could ever want through the mystery of Christ living in us.

    Earthly gifts come and go depending on our circumstances. Jesus stays the same through every plot twist in our life plans. He gives us the only fail-proof anchor for our identity. Hannah’s prayer testifies to this truth. “There is no one holy like the LORD; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God” (1 Samuel 2:2, NIV).

    Just as Hannah did, you can keep praying and asking God for a baby. He welcomes your honest cries. As you run to him, remember everything you have as God’s own child. You’re his daughter, whether or not you’re a mother.

    God’s plan for me did include motherhood on his timeline. I thank him daily for my sons and for all the ways he redeemed my season of heartache. After years of doing the mom gig, I have good news to share: My identity never changed. God loved me just as much pre-kids as he does today, even with my now-gray hairs. I’ve learned that setting my heart on him grounds me more than looking for fulfillment in being a mom.

    The same goes for you, whatever season you’re in. If you’re a woman who calls Jesus “Lord,” you are his portion. He loves you so deeply, he died to give you life. Let his Word guard you from misplaced identity. Seek him and you’ll find who you were made to be.

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  • Heart Stuff

    We See You Mama

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    Mother’s Day is this Sunday! But if you’re a mom reading this, we probably don’t have to remind you. You already know because it’s on your calendar, along with the family appointments, kid’s sports schedules, and your own appointments that you keep track of in that beautiful mind of yours, all while meal-planning, bouncing the baby on one hip, and baking cookies for the school fundraiser.  

    So much of what mamas do is unseen, so we want to say, “We see you, Mama!” And more than just keeping all the plates spinning, we see you caring for your family, kissing boo-boos, reading bedtime stories, and weaving love into everything, making even the little things feel like sunshine and fairydust.

    We also see that you are tired. If we had a Harry Potter Invisibility Cloak to share so you could sneak a cup of coffee and drink it in peace, we would overnight ship it to you. We know you don’t always get to go to the bathroom alone, and that you may not have chosen the banana mush on your shirt as your accessory of choice. But you are doing an amazing job. I mean it from the soles of my flip-flops to the top of my messy-bun. You are a great mom. 

    If you are an Honorary Mama, we cherish you and salute you. Maybe you don’t have kids of your own, or you are awaiting your first child, but you have kids in your life that look up to you and you hold a place of significant influence in their lives. There is nothing more beautiful than a friend who loves someone’s kids as much as they do, who invests in their lives, and prays for them with dedication. You are the village every mama so desperately needs and we are so thankful for you! 

    Inevitably, there comes a time in motherhood when we feel like we are losing ourselves in it. It can feel like the needs of others are so many and so loud, that we rarely find time to take care of ourselves too. I saw a post on Threads recently from a mama who said she felt swallowed up in motherhood and was struggling to find a way to connect with God throughout the day. I think every mom can relate to that. 

    The amazing thing about our God is that He sees us and comes to meet us right where we are. Have you ever noticed in the Bible that when men talk with God, it often involves a big journey up to a mountaintop, or out in the wilderness to go to God. But when women need the Lord, He comes to them! He came to Mary Magdalene at the empty tomb, He came to Hagar when she was helpless and alone, He came to the woman at the well, and the list goes on. 

    He’s with us when we fold the laundry, and during late-night feedings. He’s with us when we stay at home, or when we leave for work outside of our home. At every moment, of every day, He is with us.

    In Isaiah 40:11, God is described as a good and gentle shepherd: “He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.” 

    God has a tender place in his heart for you, Mama. He will gently lead you, and hold you and your children close to His heart. He will carry you, and sustain you faithfully. Give yourself the same grace that God gives you. Even if you didn’t get all the things done (or anything for that matter), did you love your kids today? Did you provide for their needs? Are you still standing? Then you’ve done amazing, girl! 

    Different seasons will look different in how you grow in your faith and connect with God. But He remains the same so you don’t have to figure out his part. You don’t have to coordinate with him, or schedule anything. He’s waiting on you, ready to care for you and gently lead you with tender mercy and compassion whenever you are ready. All you have to do is look up and reach out, knowing His love always surrounds us and He’s never far away.  

    When your kids are little, you may find that “Quiet Time” is not so quiet. But maybe your little ones can look at a kid’s Bible long enough for you to read a verse or two on the Bible app and start memorizing a scripture to carry with you throughout the day. You can even memorize it together. As your kids get older, and a little more independent, you may find you’re able to get a longer, or at least more focused, time with Jesus each day. And at any age or stage, you can block out a more soul-filling time with Jesus when someone else is around who can maybe help with the kiddos for a little bit, and give you a break and much needed renewal in Christ. I bet there’s at least one mom or honorary mom that would jump at the chance to care for you and your sweet family if you asked. 

    For me, just having a chance to connect with the Lord before I head out into the fray makes such a difference. And the beauty is that Jesus comes with me. He walks with me through my day. I can picture him giving me a high-five as we walk out the door together, saying “We got this!”

    So today, look for God in the mundane, in the little things, and the ordinary to-do lists. Talk with Him about what you are going to do today, and invite Him into all of it. He is so faithful to draw near, and he will walk with you. He will hold you close and you can lean on Him when you start to feel weary.

    You are not alone! We are cheering you on wildly and we’re here for you! Reach out anytime you need prayer or a pep talk!  You are doing a great job, mama! You got this!

    Big Hugs & High Fives,

    Summer

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  • Prayer, Spiritual Rhythms

    Connecting with God in Prayer

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    I love the ocean. I love everything about the ocean, watching the rolling waves and how they repetitively reach for the shore, inhaling the salty sea air, listening to the seagulls above. Part way through my morning walk while on vacation, I would always stop to sit on the sand and lean against a beached log to soak it all in. I love admiring the LORD’s handiwork in nature as I rest in all that He has created around me. No matter where I am in the world, I always like to walk to the edge of the ocean and put my hand into the water. This makes me feel as though I am connecting myself to the Pacific Ocean which is home. As I focus in on the repetitive lapping of the waves, I watch how they continually roll up and reach for the shore, over and over again. It is a reminder of how God is always reaching out to us. In order to connect with God, we too, have to reach back out to Him. One of the best ways we can reach out and connect with our Heavenly Father is through the act of prayer.

    Prayer is an incredibly powerful force and this divine privilege is available to us. Prayer connects us directly to God, making it possible for us to have a deep and personal relationship with Him. Prayer is one of the most important aspects of our daily Christian walk. As we look at Jesus’ life, we can see that He was a great man of prayer and had a very strong relationship with the Father through prayer. The Bible shows us how Jesus prayed passionately to the Father as He could be seen offering up “prayers and petitions” with “fervent cries and tears” (Hebrews 5:7 NIV). Jesus being ‘God in the flesh’, nevertheless, saw the importance of prayer while He walked on this earth. Knowing this importance, Jesus calls us to pray as well and gives us examples of how to pray (Matthew 6:5-13).

    During a conversation with a good friend some time ago, I remember her sharing how she had heard a woman speaking on the importance of daily prayer. The speaker had told her audience if a person were to pray for 30 minutes a day for six months, their life would be radically different compared to a six-month period without daily prayer. This really caught my attention. I have never forgotten those words of the speaker. It made me think that if I were not in daily prayer with the Father, I was somehow shortchanging myself. I concluded that without regular prayer, I would not be able to completely fulfill the plans which God has for me.

    At first, I thought 30 minutes of prayer a day to be a fairly large segment of the day, especially if one’s days are busy. However, as with making the time to read God’s Word daily, making the time to pray daily started out as a process for me. As part of my daily routine, after reading God’s Word in the morning, I make time to pray as well to make sure that I am connecting with the LORD on an intimate, personal level. This was definitely a process for me. I began with 10 minutes of prayer a day. Then, just as I had increased my daily Bible reading over time, I soon increased my daily prayer time to what worked well for my lifestyle. If you haven’t done so already, I encourage you my friend to try and find a daily rhythm that works for you to ensure you have a quality prayer time with your Heavenly Father.

    There are so many resources available to us about the power of prayer. One article I found to be very informative was “The Importance of Prayer: 10 Reasons Why We Pray” (Reece, A., 2024). I would like to share some of what I learned as follows.

    Prayer can bring us closer to God. It builds and strengthens our relationship with the LORD. I once remember reading that God’s greatest desire is to have a deep and intimate relationship with each one of us, His beloved creation. If you haven’t already done so, you can try welcoming God into every part of your life through prayer. Sound exciting? It is! It’s an incredible journey and something so wonderful to wake up to every morning. As we take the time and reach out to our Heavenly Father with an open and sincere heart, we can share everything with Him, including all our thoughts, feelings, heartaches, hopes and dreams. The LORD assures us that if we prayerfully reach out to Him, He will be there listening to us as His Word says, “Then you will call on Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you” (Jeremiah 29:12 NIV). What an amazing and wonderful promise!

    Prayer can increase our faith and give us hope. As we pray and ask for God’s intervention regarding our circumstances, we are letting go of what we are in control of and allowing God Almighty to step in and be in the center of things. Letting go and trusting God, helps to build our faith as it exercises and develops our ‘faith muscle’, so to speak. God knows the future, we don’t. He also knows what is best for us. Therefore, letting go of things gives God the complete control of whatever our situation may be. As a result, we can simply rest in His care and feel hopeful regarding our situation, as the LORD promises us “Those who hope in Me will not be disappointed” (Isaiah 49:23 NIV).

    Prayer can give us a sense of true peace. When partnering with the LORD in prayer, we can keep in mind that we are never on our own. When we pray and surrender our circumstances to Him, we experience His divine, supernatural peace. This peace holds us steadfast and protects us from wavering, no matter what our situation may be. God promises that because of prayer, His peace which “transcends all understanding” will “guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 NIV). Also, a little food for thought, it is a well-known fact that people who pray regularly tend to be less anxious and more content with their lives.

    Prayer brings us closer to God and glorifies Him, saves lives and transforms lives, equips us and strengthens us, increases our faith and removes obstacles, guides our path and shows us the way, anchors us in rough seas and brings us peace, heals us and renews us, brings us freedom and blesses us with joy. Prayer is the solution to every one of life’s problems.

    To help make prayer a part of my daily routine, I found that it made things easier if I committed to a regular prayer time each day. Soon, I found that the more I prayed, the easier praying everyday became, and with time, daily prayer became a habit. Also, the more time we spend with the LORD in prayer, the better we get to know our Heavenly Father.

    I like to begin the day with prayer and then pray throughout the day as opportunities present themselves. I choose to pray in the morning so that I can ask God to be over all the details of my day. A day when I have asked God to be over every detail of the day, as compared to a day when I did not ask this, made for two very different days. By asking the LORD to be over all the details, I found that things run so much more smoothly, efficiently and joyfully.

    Using a prayer journal for my prayer time is also very helpful. Jotting down prayers can help me to stay focused. Furthermore, if I have an intruding thought during my prayer time, e.g., remembering to make a doctor’s appointment, etc., I can quickly jot it down on a back page of my prayer journal and attend to it when I am finished with my morning quiet time. Keeping a prayer journal enables me to check off answered prayers as well which is so encouraging. This helps to increase my faith and acts as a reminder to thank the LORD for what He has done in my life and the lives of others.

    We can all feel very busy at times. However, I never want life’s busyness to keep me too busy to spend time with the LORD. It is good to be mindful that spending time with God in prayer is a way of honoring our LORD with our time. It also helps to build our eternal relationship with Him. Let us be encouraged that when we pray, God hears every one of our prayers. He never ignores one of His children’s pleas as His Word says, “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19 NIV).

    My dear friend, I want to encourage you today to examine the days entrusted to you. Take a few minutes to ask yourself where you think you can consistently set aside time to be with God in prayer each day. This will ensure that you are connecting with the LORD on a deep and personal level. Your first step might be merely reaching out to God and telling Him that you need help with how to pray or making time to connect with Him daily.

    Wherever you are in your faith walk my friend, be assured that God is always there for you. All you need to do is reach back out prayerfully in order to connect with Him.

    My heartfelt prayer for you is that you find the time each day in this busy world to set all things aside and enjoy a quality, quiet time with the LORD, prayerfully connecting with your Heavenly Father and strengthening your eternal relationship with Him.

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